8 years, 11 months, and 12 days. People often want to get the maximum benefits while putting in the minimum effort. That is foolish.

My most dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

This will be our 9th Christmas apart. I’m sorry it is so. The holiday season remains the hardest time of the year for me. It is for you, too, I would imagine. I’m sorry.

This year is made worse by the omni-presence of the omicron variant of the coronavirus. Christmas is being cancelled in many places around the world as infection numbers soar and hospitals and healthcare systems are being stretched beyond capacity.

I fear the worse. For more than a year now, I worried that we are not doing enough to protect teachers and healthcare workers — people who are fundamental to securing a healthy society for us today and tomorrow. They are of limited supply, yet fools treat them as if they were widgets, easily replaced by others. Now, with the omicron surge, these fools speak of lowering quarantine periods in order to hasten the return to work of infected healthcare providers and teachers. These heroes are once again called upon to put themselves in harm’s way simply because people and their leadership are unwilling to make the difficult call of confronting the uneducated and ill-informed who continue to resist proven public health protocols during a deadly pandemic that has KILLED MORE THAN 815,000 AMERICANS AND NEARLY 5.4 MILLION PEOPLE WORLDWIDE!!!!

American politicians and talking heads made much of the terrorist attacks on 9/11 (which killed 3,000 Americans) and at the Oklahoma bombing (which killed 168 Americans), pushing to curtail our individual rights, militarizing our police, etc. Yet today, they permit stupid and supremely selfish, roughly 70 million Americans to put at risk the lives of hundreds of millions of other Americans simply because the former refuses to be burdened by masks, social distancing, or vaccines. Although poorly educated in public health policies, virology, medicine, bio-chemistry, etc., these fools insist they know better than virologists, scientists, and other experts who are working tirelessly to keep everyone as safe as possible under this prolong siege by an ever-mutating coronavirus. Instead of taking affirmative steps to protect themselves and the most vulnerable within their communities, they hope and pray that God would miraculously protect them — despite allowing 815,000 other Americans to die or 5.4 million people around the world to die. Hope is not a strategy. These people convenient forgot that God helps those who helps themselves. They quote verses of the Bible that God takes care for the birds of the air, yet conveniently forget that even the birds must get up early to catch worm and cannot simply sit in their nests waiting for worms to miraculously appear.

Humans are often an inherently lazy lot. We want the maximum benefit for the minimum effort. We play the lottery and seek get rich quick schemes instead of work hard to attain positions worthy of our God-given talents. We take diet pills and prefer the convenience of cosmetic surgeries to the hard work of exercising to sculpture our bodies and control our weights. Maximum benefits; minimum efforts.

Many students dream of becoming doctors, lawyers, and engineers — positions which command respect and are highly compensated. Yet few are willing to do the hard work necessary to get into top-tier medical schools, law schools, and engineering schools.

Don’t be like them. Be different. Be better.

Always hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Wear masks whenever you are out and avoid crowds. I’ve heard news reports suggesting that the omicron variant lingers in the air longer than delta or other variants, so don’t remove your masks simply because there is no one around. Use good N95 masks, not the flimsy surgical masks that were ubiquitous at the beginning of the pandemic. Stay current with the latest scientific findings and recommendations. Don’t listen to uninformed fools who think they know more than experts. The Dunn-Kruger effect has had an outsized impact during this deadly chapter in American history, when American life expectancy dropped by nearly 2 years because of the pandemic. Pay no heed to a foolish economist who think himself more knowledgeable about the coronavirus and virologist and epidemiologists, or the eye doctor who fancies himself an expert virologist.

But beyond the pandemic, work hard to secure a brighter future for yourselves. Know that I struggle daily to achieve victory for us so that we may reunite and I could be there in person to guide you to a brighter future. If a famous, talented, and wealthy pop star like Britney Spears could be forced to under 13 years of abuse under a court-supervised conservatorship, how much harder is it for us to fight abuses under color authority by those who gotten away with their human rights abuses for decades upon decades? Be patient. Pray. And continue to work towards a brighter tomorrow.

I wish you both the merriest of Christmases and the happiest of New Years — as merry and as happy as possible under the circumstances. Know that, here, our tree is unadorned, and neither lights nor ornaments are anywhere to be found. We miss you and mourn your absence.

All my love, always and forever,

Dad

8 years, 10 months, and 27 days. Interdependence.

Choose to be interdependent with another INDEPENDENT individual, NOT A DEPENDENT ONE.

My most dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Interdependence is a great word that has fallen into disfavor in recent times. These days, too often, we are bombarded with words like “influencer”, “individual rights”, and “personal freedom” without giving thought to how we best function as a family, community, society, and country — the family being the smallest unit of society and how the family goes, so too goes society. For example, if family members aren’t taught to support one another, then those individuals will not know to support others when they enter society as adults. Society weakens when each member looks out only for him/herself and not think about the common good of the society as a whole. In the context of shared societal resources, this is often discussed as the tragedy of the commons. See, e.g., https://www.dummies.com/article/academics-the-arts/science/environmental-science/ten-real-life-examples-of-the-tragedy-of-the-commons-170489.

Growing up, I recall often hearing about how relationships are at the best when they are based on interdependence: two independent individuals choosing to be together or work together. Each individual is strong and secure in him/herself and didn’t “need” the other to find fulfillment or be complete. Theirs is a relationship built on mutual respect.

Imagine the opposite, where one or both individuals are needy and dependent on the other. Each is clingy and makes constant demands on the other to provide attention, happiness, engagement, etc., for him/herself. Such relationship smothers the other individual, disallowing him/her to explore and grow for fear that it would threaten or alienate the clingy one. Worse, recall how we humans are bottomless blackholes when it comes to ever being satisfied. Our brains are hardwired to adapt, thus the novel soon becomes the mundane and more or newer is required to achieve the same level of satisfaction or euphoria. Now imagine the bottomless pit of the clingy person who is wholly or partially dependent on you for self-fulfillment and/or happiness. He or she will suck you dry … and likely will move on once he/she depletes you of your essence … or wealth or whatever it is he/she needed from you. He or she will hold you back for fear that you will grow beyond him or her, and your friendship or relationship would end. Beware of such individuals and relationships. Those individuals are rarely about you, only themselves and often at your expense.

Choose quality individuals as friends and significant others. Take time to find interesting and independent individuals who are secure in themselves and their skills, who are not easily swayed by talking heads and one-dimensional influencers who carefully curate what they reveal and who rarely, if ever, let down their guards and reveal their true selves. Such individuals may be polished or diamonds in the rough, but they are worth their weights in gold.

I cannot overstate the benefits of being surrounded by good people who inspire you to be your better selves, who encourage you to avoid your baser instincts, and who help you see beauty in the world instead of constantly focusing on its most ugly aspects. They will extend your horizons and, together, you will grow as individuals.

Remember the adage: you will be stained when in close proximity to ink and enlightened when basking in light. Good and enlightened people will help you achieve enlightenment while the wicked and foul will encourage you towards evil and ill-served tendencies. Stay away from bad and frivolous influences. Focus your energies on becoming your best selves and helping others do likewise.

Learn to be independent, my sons, and choose to be interdependent with others. As a practical matter, this means learning to be self-sufficient to the extent possible. For example, learn to cook for yourselves, to hem your own pants, to drive manual cars and motorcycles, and to be your own best company. When you are comfortable with yourself, you can give yourself to others (e.g., those you help) more freely and without being burdened by the neediness of what they can do for you. Surround yourself with those similarly inclined.

Be well, my sons. Stay safe and healthy as omnicron takes hold and the world contracts once again. Follow public health protocols and live to fight another day.

All my love, always and forever,

Dad