5 years, 4 months, and 14 days. Keep your eyes on the prize.

 

https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/t/theodoreroosevelt/140484/theodoreroosevelt1-2x.jpg

https://www.brainyquote.com/photos_tr/en/t/theodoreroosevelt/100965/theodoreroosevelt1-2x.jpg

https://www.adaringadventure.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/rooseveltquote.jpeg

https://quotlr.com/images/quotes/BdTJJTEIAAAo_t_.jpg

https://i1.wp.com/www.stylescastle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/theodore-roosevelt-quotes-on-leadership.jpeg

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/dd/e1/c1/dde1c175eb1d5712bf0740507754fda6.jpg

https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2009/05/trduty.jpg

 

The Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt

theodore roosevelt pointing speaking president early 1900s

TR’s life shows us that hard work, tenacity, and a desire to do the right thing can get you far in life. In the most memorable section of his “Citizenship in a Republic” speech, Roosevelt captured his life philosophy in just a few sentences. “The Man in the Arena” tells us that the man we should praise is the man who’s out there fighting the big battles, even if those battles end in defeat. In our day, when cynicism and aloof detachment are considered hip and cool, TR reminds us that glory and honor come to those “who spend themselves in a worthy cause.”

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/manvotional-the-man-in-the-arena-by-theodore-roosevelt/ (emphasis added)

My dearest dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

I apologize for the absence.  The days have been challenging.

When the going gets tough, I seek comfort in the words of T.R. Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena” speech.  It is far better to have tried and failed (even failed greatly) than to have never tried at all.  People can bitch and moan all they want, but unless they are willing to pitch in and help bring about improvement, they are just wasted breath.

Unfortunately, too many these days are but useless talking heads.  I shall never forget a Superbowl ad I saw years ago:  two consultants were pitching an action plan to a company executive who replied, “Great!  I want you guys to execute that plan.”  The two consultants then laughed and said something to the effect of, “We are consultants.  We come up with the ideas, but we don’t know how to do it.”

Consultants these days are a dime a dozen — many are fresh out of college.  Without substantive knowledge and experience, on what are they basing their critical thinking and analytical skills?

Can critical thinking actually be taught?  Decades of cognitive research point to a disappointing answer: not really.  People who have sought to teach critical thinking have assumed that it is a skill, like riding a bicycle, and that, like other skills, once you learn it, you can apply it in any situation.  Research from cognitive science shows that thinking is not that sort of skill.  The processes of thinking are intertwined with the content of thought (that is, domain knowledge).

….

Thought processes are intertwined with what is being thought about.

Willingham, Daniel T., “Critical Thinking: Why Is It So Hard to Teach?” American Educator (Summer 2007), 8-10.

Thus, the lesson of the day is two-fold: gain substantive knowledge, and use it.

Be good, my sons.  Live well.  Be happy.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., I leave you with two additional thoughts.

 

https://i2.wp.com/www.relatably.com/q/img/theodore-roosevelt-quotes/Theodore-Roosevelt-inspirational-Quotes.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/fa/bb/b4/fabbb43eb5ef228a0bfdfdfe424a60b1.jpg

 

 

Advertisements

5 years, 4 months, and 7 days. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

https://globalmbwatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/img_2678.png

https://i0.wp.com/wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/1morefilmblog/files/2014/06/trojanhorse.jpg

The adage “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts is heard often, and is normally used to refer to an act of charity that masks a hidden destructive or hostile agenda.  But it’s not widely known that the phrase originates with a story from Greek mythology–specifically the story of the Trojan War, in which the Greeks, led by Agamemnon, sought to rescue Helen, who had been taken to Troy after falling in love with Paris.

This tale forms the core of Homer’s famous epic poem, The Illiad. 

https://www.thoughtco.com/beware-of-greeks-bearing-gifts-origin-121368.

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Always, beware of Greeks bearing gifts.  Humans act of out self-interest.  It is what drives most people.  The truly selfless are the rare exception — extremely rare exception; thus, it behooves you to ask yourself in almost all instances, “Why is this person doing this?”  You may not like the truth your inquiry reveals, but it is better to stare the ugly truth in the face than to accept a lie and be stabbed in the back by the dishonest and dishonorable.

We have recently endured such betrayal of false friends.  They came to us without our asking and made much noise about wanting to help us to grow our business and take it to the next level.  Yet, curiously, during the month-long discussion about the potential business partnership, they NEVER ONCE asked what our business needed in order to expand to the next level.  It was all about how much money we could lend them, whether we could introduce them to our contacts, whether we could refer business to them, etc.  Once this observation was pointed out to them, they left in anger and bad-mouthed us to others.  Beware Greek bearing gifts.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8231/8574136079_09df93733b_z.jpg

Ralph Waldo Emerson has once said success is, among other things, to have earned the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.  Why did he say this?  Because you cannot success unless you extend yourself to others and to the world.

Despite the real threat of betrayal by false friends, befriend people anyway.  What choice have you?  Can you truly be happy living in isolation, without a single friend to share your joys and troubles?  What a sad existence that would be!!!  Unfortunately, that is the reality for many of us today.  Studies seem to indicate that our social circles are shrinking and that a growing percentage of us have no close friends with whom we could share our joys and sorrows.  See, e.g., https://www.livescience.com/846-americans-lose-touch-report-close-friends.html; https://www.livescience.com/16879-close-friends-decrease-today.html; https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/you-gotta-have-friends-most-have-just-2-true-pals-f1C6436540; and, https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201105/why-would-someone-have-no-friends.

So, extend yourselves, but beware Greeks bearing gifts.

All my love, always,

Dad

5 years, 4 months, and 4 days. Be open-minded.

https://i0.wp.com/www.thatonerule.com/rules/2769.png

https://i2.wp.com/img.picturequotes.com/2/541/540833/they-who-think-they-know-all-learn-nothing-quote-1.jpg

https://openparachute.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/open-minded.png?w=500&h=500

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

We see them everyday … closed-minded people who hurt themselves and others because of their unwillingness to consider other perspectives.  They think they know it all already.  Often, their resistance stems from fear … of the unknown, of looking foolish, etc.  For example, when hand washing — something do as a matter of course as a matter of hygiene — was first introduced and suggested to physicians and surgeons, they resisted, claiming they have always went from patient to patient without washing their hands in between.  The “always done it that way” is but a cry of fear.

Don’t be like that.  What’s the harm of trying, assuming you have fully explored the new concept and understand that it does not pose a harm?  (For example, experimenting with drugs or doing dangerous stunts with neither experience nor safety precautions are simply stupid.  You do not need to touch fire to know it is hot.  You can learn vicariously.)

We visit the three month old son of a friend this weekend.  The baby is hospitalized for pneumonia because fluid is getting into lungs while he’s nursing.  The solution is simple: hold the baby up when he’s nursing instead of leaving him horizontal.  Unfortunately, the mother insist that’s how babies have always been nursed in her family, and refuses to change her nursing behaviors.  Why?  What’s the harm of trying?  The benefits are significant (the baby no longer has fluid going into his lungs while nursing) and the costs/efforts are minimal.  Being closed-minded results in continuing harm to her son, but she refuses to see it.

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/88/cb/20/88cb20875b4e89387dbc6ae7e5121ea0.jpg

She is not unique.  Many an “educated” man remain closed-minded.  For example, a professor of “23 years” — as he proclaimed — was observed by another doctorate that his teaching was ineffective because he was talking AT the kids instead of engaging them and talking to them.  He was talking above their heads.  Instead of acknowledging the constructive feedback, he dismissed it and reasserted his claim that he has taught at universities for 23 years.  Because he stressed his robust university teaching experience, I asked why he is not tenured.  His response was that the tenure process is nothing but a popularity contest.  In other words, he failed to get tenure (which usually occur withing 7-10 years of teaching) because people did no like him.  But, doesn’t that go to the root of his problem — he lacks the requisite soft skills to engage effectively and communicate with his students and colleagues?  His protests stem from his fear and insecurities, and he is not helped by being closed-minded. How does it benefit him to brush off all suggestions that he has weaknesses? It doesn’t.  He continues to move from school to school, with each subsequent school being less reputable than the preceding one.  You know how his story will end.

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/51/06/92/5106927a1eeff48c0843165916dfa5ee.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/0f/a7/f6/0fa7f651e78653e0a6b608d2b91d828d.jpg

Be open-minded my sons.  Eleanor Roosevelt said you can learn something from everyone.  She’s right.

This reminds me of a story.  Once, there was a great swordsman.  He came to this small town, and boasted to the barkeep about how great a swordsman he is.  The barkeep, not missing a beat, refilled a bottle of house wine from the cast without spilling a drop.  He then turned to the swordsman and asked, “Can you do that?”

The lesson is that we each have our strengths and weaknesses.  Don’t be blinded by your skills and arrogance and fail to recognize the gifts of others.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

 

 

5 years, 3 months, and 10 days. Living a good life is challenging. Live well anyway.

https://i2.wp.com/quotespictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/any-idiot-can-face-a-crisis-its-this-day-to-day-living-that-wears-you-out.jpg

https://i0.wp.com/www.sevenquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/an-unexamined.jpg

https://shoshandjaialai.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/21dcb-emperor-has-no-clothes.jpg?w=656

https://i0.wp.com/www.whaleoil.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/sycophant-3.jpg

https://i2.wp.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/business-commerce-capitalism-capitalist_society-corporate_culture-unethical-fat_cats-cey0031_low.jpg

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Today is a hard day.  Actually, it’s been a hard week.

But, no one promised you life would be easy.  If anyone did, he or she lied.

Life is a struggle … to do the right thing, to do the best you can under the circumstances, to be true to yourself despite pressures from all sides to conform to the wishes and demands of others, etc.  As Anton Chekhov said, “Any idiot can deal with a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.”

Live well anyway.  What choice have you?  You could lie, cheat, steal, and boot-lick your way up, but there is no honor in that.  Further, you will find that path unpleasant on the way up and that it never ends.  Change is a constant, and you must constantly kiss ass to remain in the position.  Is it really worth it?  Would you rather live honestly or would you rather be a two-faced, back stabbing bootlicker who’d sell his own mother for profit?

Be true to yourself, my sons.  It’s a tough road, but it is one that will enable you to look back on your life with pride.  It will give your life meaning, and will give reasons for those who matter in the world to celebrate your life instead of long for your death.  See, e.g., https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/17/us/barbara-bush-dead.html; and, https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/04/18/southwest-airlines-victim-jennifer-riordan/527363002/.

Buck up!  There will always be difficult days. But, strive to live such that more of your days are pleasant than unpleasant.

We are surrounded by ankle-biters, who will never amount to much.  But, that is the nature of ankle-biters: they are often of low- or poor-skills, will never make much of their lives, and are best at pulling others down to their levels.  Ignore them if you can, deal forcefully with them if you must, but spend most of your time pursuing your goals and dreams.  Your success is what they fear most … because it makes more stark their failures.

Be you.  Be the best you.  Find joy wherever and whenever you can.  Make it a priority to spend time with friends and people who love you.  Make friends.  Let nature nourish your body, heart, mind, and spirit.  Experience life.

Love with all you heart and soul because that is the only way to love and live.  To hedge your bet or to reciprocate only the feelings of another is to empower your mind to cage your heart and imprison it in fear.  Don’t do that.  Experience life.  With great love may come great loss, but at least you would have loved and lost rather than to have never experience such miracle and exquisite beauty.

https://quotefancy.com/media/wallpaper/1600x900/2008601-Alfred-Tennyson-Quote-It-s-better-to-have-loved-and-lost-than.jpg

https://i2.wp.com/www.todaysfitnesstrainer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/TFT_Lion-Sheep500x500.jpg?resize=500%2C500

All my love, always.  You are the best of me.

Dad

P.S., don’t buy the “fake news” crap that the dishonest espouses.  Reputable newspapers like the New York Times and Washington Post build their reputations over decades, and have processes in place to protect the hard-earned good-will and reputation they cultivated.  They make mistakes, as all humans are want to do, but they try to be fair and accurate.  That is a lot more than others who won’t even bother to be fair, accurate, or even truthful.

Congratulations to the New York Times, Washington Post, Arizona Republic, and others on their Pulitzer Prizes.  http://www.pulitzer.org/prize-winners-by-year/2018.

5 years, 3 months, and 8 days. Make a good first impression: be well-informed.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8d/3d/f5/8d3df5811f95ef9b368922c04aaae691.jpg

https://shoshandjaialai.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/facb2-32bfactors.jpg?w=656

https://i1.wp.com/goldprsocialmedia.com/invisalign/print/invisalign_infographic_1.3.jpg

A Harvard study revealed that it typically takes eight subsequent positive encounters to change another person’s negative opinion of you.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/02/10/the-do-over-how-to-correct-a-bad-first-impression/#3dece3f055f6

 

 

Recognize that changing someone’s perception will take time. As stated earlier, no matter who you are, you will inevitably make a less than positive impression on someone. While some have suggested that it can take months or even years to erase a bad first impression, a Harvard study suggests that it will take eight subsequent positive encounters to change that person’s negative opinion of you. In this context be persistent and patient.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140424005629-3411076-how-to-overcome-making-a-bad-first-impression

 

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

People are often full of shit.  Many will bluster or drone on and on about that which they know little.  They may cite one study or one source to validate their point.  Be not like them.

Be well-informed.  Read voraciously.  Read from diverse sources from different continents to combat biases and to gain greater perspective.  Think deeply and critically about what you read, see, and hear.  Never swallow wholesale what someone pitches; everyone has his/her biases.  Figure why they’re saying what they’re saying (e.g., are they paid to say it?), what they are omitting, what their assumptions are, etc.

One of my favorite dialogues are from the movie, The Negotiator, with Samuel Jackson and Kevin Spacey:

Now you're a history buff?
                 
I generally read histories and biographies.       

Don't believe everything you read.              

I didn't say I read just one book.                

I try to read all books on a subject.  You know, try to get all the facts...                

...and then decide for myself what really happened.

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/n/negotiator-script-transcript-kevin-spacey.html (emphasis added)

Too many people are careless with their reputation.  They say or repeat nonsense and expect there to be few consequences for spouting crap.  They are wrong.  People of caliber notice.  They, then, give wide berth to the uninformed for, except as sheep and mindless consumers, not much good come of being uninformed.

Remember, everything we say and do reflect well or poorly on us, as individuals.  Everything about us communicates something about ourselves.  Thus, strive to make a great impression.  Speak well.  Be thoughtful.  Be well-mannered.  Exude confidence.

Bad first impressions are extremely difficult to correct: people rarely give you eight chances to counteract that one bad first impression.  Their impression of you will color their view of all you do.  If they think you are smart, they will pass off a mistake as a one-off event and not let that affect their judgment of you.  Conversely, if they think you are an idiot, they will think something you did well is but a fluke and you remain an idiot.

Life is hard enough as it is.  Why would you choose to make it harder on yourselves by giving bad first impressions?  Don’t do it.

Be well-read, thoughtful, well-mannered, and kind.  Make a great first impression.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., all is not lost if you made a bad first impression.  It just means you have a lot of hard work ahead of you to correct it.

The Do-Over: How To Correct A Bad First Impression

 Last year I wrote about the nature of first impressions. We’re continually told of the importance of making positive first impressions, especially given how quickly we determine them. Some research suggests that first impressions can be so powerful that they’re weighed more heavily than fact. We know that making a good first impression is critical to success in both our jobs and personal lives, but the fact is that sometimes we flub them. Whether because of pressure, nervousness, a wrong approach, or distraction, we don’t always show up the way we intended.

The question then becomes, how do we correct a bad first impression?

Here’s the good news: impressions evolve over time. You may not get a second chance to make a first impression, but you can create an opportunity to correct one. Here are five ways to do so:

Realize that an initial impression is just that – a beginning.

We’ve all changed our opinion about someone the longer we’ve known them. Consider a colleague that you initially thought was standoffish, but after sharing a project realized was someone who just took a while to warm up.

If we look at first impressions as make-or-break opportunities, then it’s easy to make excuses for not trying to correct them. Instead, consider that impressions continuously evolve with multiple touch points. If you want someone to get to know the real you, then put yourself in front of them. Ask the person to lunch or volunteer to help them. By witnessing your skills and personality over a longer period of time, their perception of you can grow.

 Remember that repeated, small interactions build trust fastest.

A Harvard study revealed that it typically takes eight subsequent positive encounters to change another person’s negative opinion of you. So be persistent and play the long game.

Further, small, predictable interactions increase trust greater than a one-time splashy event. Take the pressure off yourself to knock someone’s socks off, and instead focus on demonstrating your value over an extended period of time. Strive to be consistent, follow up, and follow through.

Ask for a chance to correct.

Being straightforward can help minimize misunderstandings and reframe the discussion. Consider simply saying, “I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Can I take you to lunch?”

Honesty can be a game changer in any relationship and goes a long way toward changing someone’s perspective. If you feel that there’s a failure to connect interpersonally, provide your view of the situation and then vet it with the other person. Admit what caused your behavior that may have led to a wrong impression. If you have a family issue that caused you to be disengaged during a meeting, then say so. If the other party is as open minded as most people hope to be (more on this next), then they should give you the benefit of the doubt.

Remind the other person how open-minded he or she is.

Many people have what psychologists call an egalitarian goal, which means that they work hard to be open minded and fair in their interactions with others. Research shows that when you remind someone of their fairness, they will more conscientiously work to live up to that assessment.

Practically speaking, this means that after a less than stellar first interaction, you can send a follow up email and compliment the other person on their open mindedness or fairness in evaluating people. Or recognize how their perspicacity must be a real asset in their job. Reminding the other person of their egalitarian goal will help them remember to be more open minded in their perceptions of you.

Ask them for advice – on anything.

According to Wharton School professor Adam Grant, asking for advice is a smart way to be influential. Grant discusses one study in which researchers asked people to negotiate the possible sale of commercial property. When the sellers asked the buyers for advice on how to meet their goals, 42% were able to come to an agreement that made both sides happy.

“Asking for advice encouraged greater cooperation and information sharing, turning a potentially contentious negotiation into a win-win deal. Studies demonstrate that across the manufacturing, financial services, insurance and pharmaceuticals industries, seeking advice is among the most effective ways to influence peers, superiors, and subordinates,” Grant writes.

If you feel that you didn’t make a positive impression, follow up and ask the other person for advice on some aspect of work. This also allows you to get in front of the person again and make a new impression. Psychologist Robert Cialdini says that by asking for advice, you suddenly “have the basis of an interaction.” Advice can always be returned, as can a thank you.

Comment here or @kristihedges.

Kristi Hedges is a leadership coach, speaker and author of The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others. She blogs at kristihedges.com.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/02/10/the-do-over-how-to-correct-a-bad-first-impression/3/#7bbbb0f874de

 

5 years, 3 months, and 7 days. Social media creates barriers to real communication with real friends. True friends are priceless. Go spend time with them.

https://image.slidesharecdn.com/presentation1-130516205633-phpapp01/95/progression-towards-regression-2-638.jpg?cb=1368738045https://shoshandjaialai.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/8f3a2-social-media-sites-chart.gif?w=656

https://www.over40datingsites.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/fake-profile.jpg

https://socialcatfish.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/dangers-online-dating.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/2f/e0/b1/2fe0b1d0cbf0fec8dd255eb5fd1e197c.jpg

Is Social Media Sabotaging Real Communication?

On a crisp Friday afternoon last October, Sharon Seline exchanged text messages with her daughter who was in college. They ‘chatted’ back and forth, mom asking how things were going and daughter answering with positive statements followed by emoticons showing smiles, b-i-g smiles and hearts. Happiness.

Later that night, her daughter attempted suicide.

In the days that followed, it came to light that she’d been holed up in her dorm room, crying and showing signs of depression — a completely different reality from the one that she conveyed in texts, Facebook posts and tweets.

As human beings, our only real method of connection is through authentic communication. Studies show that only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language. Indeed, it’s only when we can hear a tone of voice or look into someone’s eyes that we’re able to know when “I’m fine” doesn’t mean they’re fine at all…or when “I’m in” doesn’t mean they’re bought in at all.

 This is where social media gets dicey.

Awash in technology, anyone can hide behind the text, the e-mail, the Facebook post or the tweet, projecting any image they want and creating an illusion of their choosing. They can be whoever they want to be. And without the ability to receive nonverbal cues, their audiences are none the wiser.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/susantardanico/2012/04/30/is-social-media-sabotaging-real-communication/#5cc657122b62 (emphasis added)

My dearest and most precious Shosh and Jaialai:

There is an African proverb which states, “If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.”

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QO3iX3ml1Ew/U6uW7Tv0UII/AAAAAAAAAhQ/FYf9xvGz1S0/w530-h398-n/go-fast-go-far.png

As I got older, I gained greater appreciation for this adage.  In my youth, I wanted to do it all and trusted few to put in the effort and care that I did on each task, each project.  (My reputation as a skilled problem-solver was built in no small measure by this approach, but my days were long because of it also.)  I cultivated friendships with select few who were among the best of my colleagues, but failed to create a broader network of friends and colleagues.

I failed to appreciate the extent to which the mass of those left out can turn the tide against you.  Ankle-biters may not be able to inflict great harm as individuals, but as a group, they can effectively poison the well.  Thus, if I were to redo my professional life, I would spend a little less time pursuing achievements (e.g., resolve problems that others had failed to resolve in the course of years, achieve recognition for my employer as few had done previously, etc.) and spend a little more time building my network.

Now, to be clear, I’m not advocating the total pursuit of building network over producing measurable results.  Those who climb the corporate ladder base on relationships alone build their career atop weak sandstone.  The fall of their mentors precipitates their own.  On the other hand, measurable success as a problem solver travels with you and can never be taken from you.  The world always needs problem solvers.  But, the importance of a strong team of support cannot be overstated.

Unfortunately, in this day and age, you face greater challenge than I did at your age.  As stated above, social media connects us but interferes with our ability to effectively communicate with one another. Face to face encounters give us the ability to read facial clues and hear the changes in someone’s tone of voice, which signal their passion or deception.  Limiting our communication to the one-dimensional medium of texts alone denies us the ability to assess the veracity of the speaker.

Yet, you’ve seen it, as we all have, tables full of friends or family members sit at a table at a restaurant or coffee shop but there is no communication among them because each is engrossed in his/her phone or tablet.  Why bother to go out as a family or group of friends?  Each might as well go back to his/her cave and connect with fake “friends” on Facebook.

How Many Of The Internet’s Users Are Fake - #infographicSee, also,

83 million Facebook accounts are fakes and dupes

https://www.cnn.com/2012/08/02/tech/social-media/facebook-fake-accounts/index.html

 

Criminals using fake social media profiles to target victims

New study finds burglars use social networks to gather information on targets.

Criminals are creating networks of fake online profiles on social networks in order to target individuals and their homes, a new study has warned.

Insurance firm Legal & General conducted a survey of British social media users and found that 91% had connected online with someone they had never met, and over half (51%) had accepted friend requests from strangers.

Nearly two thirds (63%) of those who connected with people they didn’t know did so because of a mutual friend in common, while a third (34%) accepted strangers because they were members of the same group, and over one in ten (11%) felt it would be “rude” not to accept the request.

Burglars are creating networks of fake profiles to target potential victims, as such connections allow them to uncover a variety of personal information about users and their whereabouts, making their homes an easier target.

The survey found that 56% of social media users had discussed an event, evening or holiday plans ‘wall to wall’ on Facebook, potentially providing opportunities for them to be targeted by criminals.

Almost a third (29%) also only update their status or tweet when they want to brag to their friends about an activity, rising to 43% among 18- to 24-year-olds.

Michael Fraser, a reformed burglar and the star of the BBC’s Beat the Burglar, said that digital-savvy criminals are increasingly using social networks as a “goldmine” of information on potential victims.

“While people are becoming savvier about privacy settings on social networks, they can also develop a false sense of security with their online connections, wrongly believing they can trust all those so-called ‘friends’,” he said.

http://www.digitalspy.com/media/news/a368932/criminals-using-fake-social-media-profiles-to-target-victims/ (emphasis added)

As I have always said, the internet and social media is but a tool.  Use it, but don’t let it use and control you.  Don’t allow liars and thieves to worm their way into your lives by creating fake profiles and “befriending” you.

https://i.vimeocdn.com/video/185063530_1280x720.jpg

https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/cd/Deal-With-an-Online-Predator-Step-11.jpg/aid433211-v4-728px-Deal-With-an-Online-Predator-Step-11.jpg

Limit your screen time.  Go outside and get fresh air.  Hang out with real people and real friends.  Beware of stranger danger — especially the new variety of fiends on the internet who pretend to be your friends.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., I am aware of the irony of telling you this over social media.  However, at present, it is the only form of communication available to us.  And, for that, I am grateful to it as a tool.

5 years, 3 months, and 6 days. Be kind to your audience.

https://i0.wp.com/static.openlawlab.com/uploads/2016/03/Legal-Design-Idea-Sketches_30-1-.jpg

https://i1.wp.com/suitcaseentrepreneur.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/228-Quote.jpg

https://i2.wp.com/quotescloud.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/The-size-of-the-audience-doesnt-matter.jpg

 

Pity the readers.

https://kmh-lanl.hansonhub.com/pc-24-66-vonnegut.pdf (emphasis added)

http://kmh-lanl.hansonhub.com/pc-24-66-vonnegut.pdf

My dearest and most precious Shosh and Jaialai:

Kurt Vonnegut said it best and most succinctly:  “Pity the readers.”  Be kind to your audience.  They occupy not your life and live not in your head; thus, they have the difficult task of trying to follow your thoughts — be it in written or oral form.  Help them.

First, know your audience.  Who are they?  What do they want out of the interaction with you?  What are their interests?  What are their levels of education?  What is their frames of reference?  For example, if you were talking to high school graduates who are sports fanatics, and you peppered your conversation with quotes from a philosophy book, do you think your audience would be hooked by your presentation or bored?  Know your audience.  Speak their “language” — be it words, anecdotes, imagery, etc.

Second, as the speaker or writer, IT IS YOUR JOB to communicate your thoughts clearly to your audience.  Don’t shirk your duties.  Worse, don’t blame your audience for your failure to do your job.

For example, your job as the writer is to help your readers understand what you are saying by clearly giving them roadmaps and textual clues for them to follow along.  Thus, use signals – such as commas, and words like “but” – to tell readers what to expect and to better help them understand your points.

Shosh, when you were a toddler, you visited me at the office and scared my staff.  Ms. T asked why you liked construction equipment or something that simple.  You responded with, “Well, I like them for three reasons.  First, …”  Your detailed analysis as well as clear and organized thinking freaked them out.  Mr. D said he’d rather have kids who are not as smart since they would be easier to teach.

In life, you will find that if you care about your audience, they will care about you in return.  Do the hard lifting and complicated analyses for your audience and explain complex ideas in simple terms for your audience, and they will knock down your door to get to you and your services.  I promise.

Be well, my sons.  Live well.  Be happy.

All my love, always,

Dad