At any given moment, something like 40 percent of the world’s population—up to three billion people—are using Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or another social media app or website. Most people spend an average of two hours a day on these platforms: sharing photos, commenting on those of others, tweeting their opinions, or simply checking in on what the people in their networks are doing.
And yet, it’s become something of a truism that too-frequent social media use is bad for one’s health. No less of a social media darling than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, whose upstart political campaign was buoyed by Facebook, has come out against the network, calling it a “public health risk” ….
First off, the use of social media has been shown to correlate with loneliness, with heavy users being twice as likely to report social isolation. On the other hand, even if these users aren’t physically or emotionally separated from the important people in their lives, they may still feel that way: More time spent on the most commonly used social networks correlates to higher feelings of loneliness and isolation. Studies have also shown that higher social media use is associated with higher anxiety….
Also, the ability to feel good about oneself—to have healthy self-esteem—may be compromised by social media use.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201906/is-social-media-bad-you
My Dearest Shosh and Jaialai:
Happy belated Lunar New Year! May 2020, the Year of the Rat, brings you inspiration, contentment, and joy.
I know this past decade has not been kind to us as a family, and you must struggle to make peace with the world when your family is broken, you dad falsely accused, and you shamed. I am sorry and wish I could take away your pain. But the reality is that, no matter how well we live, we must still play the hand life dealt us. As Teacher Mary used to remind Shosh and her students, “You are only the boss of you.” Thus, our choice is limited to how we choose to deal with the situation given. We can choose to wallow in our misery, fight to clear our name and resume our life as a family, or some option in between.
I choose to fight and have endeavored for the past 7 years to call attention to our story and the evil visited upon us by racist thugs acting under color of authority. But, for you, I hope you find peace. I don’t want you to engage in this struggle. You need to conserve your energies to learn and grow into the wonderful and productive young men I know you can be.
As part of the effort, I want you to shun social media and its insidious allure. Lots of have said about the ill-effects of social media, but my reasoning is even more simple and basic. With respect to child psychology and child development, the theory is that as children, we look to everyone around us for affirmation, but as we mature, we limit the number of people to whom we seek affirmation.
For example, I recall when Shosh was crushed as a toddler, returning to us at the playground and asking, “Why doesn’t he like me? Why doesn’t he want to play with me?” You were such a cute and friendly child, making friends wherever you go. That was your first experience of social rejection and you took it hard. As you grew older, hopefully, you’ve learned to let what others think about you slide of like water off a duck’s back.
My main concern with social media is that, in the hunt for “likes”, hearts, and similar nonsense, you have placed the locus of your self-worth in the hands of others — strangers, whom you know little about and who care very little about your health and happiness. By keeping your life and focus grounded in the real world — through interactions with real people and friends, by meeting your goals and achieving success, by helping those in need, etc. — you maintain control of the mechanisms that define your self-worth. For example, you feel good about yourself when you work hard to get that “A”, or when you help that elderly neighbor carry her groceries. On the other hand, you lose that control when you seek “likes”, hearts, and other false “affirmations” from strangers who click or not click the “like” or “heart” button with little thought and care. Why would you want to do give that kind of power to strangers? That is foolishness.
Shun social media. Waste neither time nor energies on such foolishness. Instead, channel your energies on concrete actions that move you closer to your goals for success: exercising to maintain good health, spending quality time with family and friends to strengthen your social network, getting good grades, gaining leadership experience, helping the community, achieving good scores on standardized tests, gaining admission to good colleges, etc.
Find peace, my sons. May 2020 be kinder to you than the past half decade.
All my love, always,
Dad
shoshandjaialai 