4 years and 25 days. Self-regulation is critical to success.


My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Your mom’s side of the family has been imploding.  The uncle who cannot drive because his driver’s license was repeatedly revoked for drug abuse is dead.  The aunt from Virginia has left her husband (an alcoholic).  The super “religious” wife of your former Marine uncle divorced him and married another guy within the same year.  Most of your adult male cousins on that side are unemployed or underemployed and have bastard children out of wedlock with unsuccessful mates who are willing to put up with such losers.  The artsy pretender who always preached to others about how to raise children the appropriate Vietnamese way has a bastard child with a Japanese name, and he is now a house husband while his Chinese wife works to support the family.  Wow.  What winners.

On the other hand, your aunts, uncles, and cousins on my side of the family have degrees in biomedical engineering, mechanical engineering, medicine, architecture, education, etc.  They are artistic and post on social media photos of their drawings and passions instead of meaningless drivel.

Why the difference?  The parents on both side are respectable people.  What caused the divergence in the paths of their off-springs?

One word: self-regulation.  Your mother’s side was not taught to self-regulate.  Your maternal grandfather, for example, prided himself on having never raised his voice to his children.  Your maternal grandmother did likewise.  And, what resulted?  Lazy and self-centered children (and grandchildren) who lack discipline and fortitude.  They do what feels good at the moment.  Thus, one boy is a felon with drug conviction, and most of the others stay home while their poor girlfriends work.  On the other hand, on my side, your aunts and uncles hold master’s degrees and doctorates, are professors and teachers, hold management positions in Fortune 500 companies, etc.  Your cousins on my side are likewise en route to success.

We know how to self-regulate and are self-disciplined.  On the other hand,, they needed to be regulated by their parents when their parents were still alive.  Now that your grandparents have passed away, their family is imploding.

Which path do you choose to follow?

All my love, always,