4 years, 9 months, and 6 days. Never wrestle with pigs: you’ll both get dirty and the pig likes it.

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My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Unfortunately, rude and crass people are part of the fabric of society.  Civilized societies do a better job of educating its citizenry and create a more orderly society as a result.  But, even then, there are fringe elements who celebrate anarchy, chaos, disorder, and filth.

The best you can do is to steer clear of them.  (We live in nice neighborhoods precisely to avoid such elements.)  However, it is not always possible to avoid interacting with them.  When confronted by the likes of such, you have several choices: (1) do nothing — which is ALWAYS a choice; (2) speak up for yourself and teach people how to treat you; or, (3) walk away.  How do you decide which course of action to take?

First, security ALWAYS comes first.  If you endanger yourself or your loved one by challenging the louts, then think twice about doing so.  Remember, such low-lifes usually do not have much to live for; thus, they may choose to take risks which you may prefer not to take (e.g., jail time for assault, or loss of face for being rude and creating a scene in public).  In such situations, it would be best to walk away.

Second, ask yourself what you hope to gain with a given course of action.  Yes, I always tell you to teach people how to treat you.  But, sometimes, it is simply not worth your time to teach that particular person — because you’ll never interact with him/her again, because he/she is so poorly brought up and so crass that no lesson will take and the people will never amount to anything more than a lout, a thug, or a hooligan.  Don’t waste your time and energy.  Walk away.

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And, remember, low-lifes comes in all shapes, sizes, and styles.  People often confuse money with class.  They are not the same.  There are many without means, but who are well-mannered and well-bred.  On the other hand, there are many rich and powerful individuals who behave boorishly, and are not better bad monkeys and gorillas which cannot control their own impulses.

You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.

Walk away.

All my love, always,

Dad

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4 years, 9 months, and 1 day. Make it your goal to be better today than you were yesterday.

 

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My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.

So it is with life.  Take it one step at a time.  Nothing changes overnight … not even you (even cosmetic surgery takes days).

Have you noticed how difficult it is to keep your New Year’s resolution about studying better, playing video games less, etc.?  That’s because most of us have these grandiose plans (like “I’ll lose 35 pound this year” or “I’m going to get straight A’s this quarter”) and find it very hard to follow through.

That’s because we’re creatures of habit.  We gain weight or hold our weight steady because of our eating habits.  Our grades in school are a reflection of our study habits.  We cannot expect a different result if we keep doing the same thing — by force of habit.

Unfortunately, habits don’t change overnight.  People say, it takes 21 days to form a habit, but that’s a misinterpretation of the originating study.  https://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonselk/2013/04/15/habit-formation-the-21-day-myth/#6160c47debc4.

Most people believe that habits are formed by completing a task for 21 days in a row. Twenty-one days of task completion, then voila, a habit is formed. Unfortunately, this could not be further from the truth. The 21-day myth began as a misinterpretation of Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s work on self-image. Maltz did not find that 21 days of task completion forms a habit. People wanted it to be true so much so, however, that the idea began to grow in popularity.

Tom Bartow, who successfully started advanced training for Edward Jones and has since become a highly sought after business coach, developed the following model of what habit formation really looks like:

 The 3 phases of habit formation:

Phase 1: THE HONEYMOON

This phase of habit formation is characterized by the feeling of “this is easy.” As all married people will tell you, at some point even the greatest honeymoon must end. The honeymoon phase is usually the result of something inspiring. For example, a person attends a highly motivational conference, and for the first few days after the conference the individual is making positive changes in his or her life.

 Phase 2: THE FIGHT THRU

Inspiration fades and reality sets in. A person finds himself struggling with the positive habit completion and old habits seem to be right around the corner. The key to moving to the third phase of habit formation is to win 2 or 3 “fight thru’s.” This is critical. To win the fight thru, use the following techniques:

  1. RECOGNIZE: Recognition is essential for winning the fight thru. When you have entered the fight through, simply say to yourself, “I have entered the fight thru, and I need to win a few to move past this.” Winning each fight thru will make it easier to win the next. Conversely, when you choose to lose a fight thru, you make it easier to lose the next one.
  2. ASK 2 QUESTIONS: “How will I feel if I do this?” and “How will I feel if I don’t do this?” Bring EMOTION into the equation. Let yourself feel the positive in winning the fight thru and the negative in losing.
  3. LIFE PROJECTION: If the above 2 techniques haven’t moved you to action, then imagine in great detail how your life will be in 5 years if you do not begin making changes. Be totally honest with yourself, and allow yourself to feel what life will be like if the changes are not made.

Phase 3: SECOND NATURE

Entering second nature is often described by feelings of “getting in the groove.” Once in second nature, the following are 3 common interruptions that will send a person back to the fight thru:

  1. THE DISCOURAGEMENT MONSTER: An individual allows negative results discourage him or her into thinking, “This isn’t working, and there is nothing I can do.”
  2. DISRUPTIONS: An individual experiences significant change to his or her current pattern (e.g., vacations, holidays, illness, weekends).
  3. SEDUCTION OF SUCCESS: An individual begins to focus on positive results and begins to think, “I’m the special one. I have finally figured out how to have great results with not so great process.”

If a person experiences an interruption that sends him or her back to the fight thru, winning 2 or 3 fight thru’s will bring him or her back to second nature.

Most people want positive habits to be as easy as brushing their teeth. HELLO…LET’S BE ADULTS HERE…being great isn’t easy. In fact greatness requires sacrifice. It requires doing things that others won’t or can’t do. GREAT HABITS ARE FORMED DAILY. Truth be told, good habits require consistent commitment. Highly successful people have learned to develop good habits. Make the commitment to make it past the fight thru, no matter how many times you go back to it, to reach new levels of success.

I like that: “greatness requires sacrifice.  It requires doing things that others won’t or can’t do.  GREAT HABITS ARE FORMED DAILY.

There is a concept out there that might help.  It’s contained in the title of this blog.  It’s called the Kaizen method.  In essence, it’s the power of continuous incremental improvement.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew.  You’re more likely to follow through if your goals are simple and achievable.  For example, if you want a stronger core, have it a goal to hold a plank position for 30 seconds.  Do it tomorrow when you first get out of bed.  It’s only 30 seconds.  Then, increase that pose by 30 additional seconds everyday.  It’s only 30 seconds more.

Likewise, if you want better grades, for example, start by spending 5 minutes everyday (1) thinking about the (a) main points of your readings, (b) what the teacher wanted you to get out of that reading, (c) what the key points of the reading was, and (2) making good  notes.  Being able (1) to extract the (a) important points from your readings and (b) how those points relate to the overall goal of the class or the body of knowledge you’re trying to learn and being able (2) to retrieve that information are more important how much time you spend reading or how fast you read.

Make it a habit to spend more time THINKING about what you read instead of the mindless process of reading and highlighting without real comprehension of what the material says and how it relates to other things you’ve studied.  Every subsequent day, make it a goal to increase the amount of thinking time by 5 minutes.  You’ll find that, over time, you’ll understand more about what you read, and that you remember more about what you read.  I guarantee that there have been times when you have highlighted a significant portion of a page only to discover that you remember nothing about the highlighted portion: you had to reread it.  That is inefficient.

Learning requires engagement.  Think.  Use your head.  Ask yourself what the point of each paragraph was about.  What was the topic and what was the author trying to convey about that topic in that paragraph?  How did that paragraph relate to the preceding paragraph?  How did that paragraph relate to the author’s thesis statement or overall argument?

Use the Cornell method to take notes.  It will help guide you.  I promise that if you keep working to improve a little bit everyday, you’ll look back one day and be amazed at how far you had progressed.

Be better today than you were yesterday with respect to that one thing you’re trying to change.  What do you have to lose?  It’s only 30 seconds or 5 minutes.  But, if you follow through, the results will be amazing!

All my love, always,

Dad

 

 

 

4 years, 8 months, and 19 days. Follow YOUR dreams, not others’

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Richard Cory

Edwin Arlington Robinson, 18691935

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked,
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich--yes, richer than a king--
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

My dearest Shosh ad Jaialai:

4 years, 8 months, and 19 days is an eternity.  I miss you greatly and hope you are well.

Today, let’s talk about living your dreams.  Dare to dream, and to follow your dreams.  Don’t worry about the opinions of others.  They have their lives to live, and you have yours.

This is not always easy.  For example, when I was younger, I wanted to become a medical doctor.  In college, I majored in the hard sciences and worked as a lab assistant, but I also volunteered to assist a professor with his social science research because I thought it interesting.  Over time, I realized that my love lies in social science, not in medicine — but, to this day, I remain interested and curious about matters related to medicine, and my professional duties ultimately took me back to that industry.

Eventually, I changed my major to one of the social sciences.  At first, family members protested and warned me of the difficulties of finding jobs as a social science major.  Clearly, medicine offered a clearer career path.  What they said concerned me, of course, but they presented no new information, yet I knew I would not be happy if I must spend my entire life working as a physician.  Thus, their warnings fell on deaf ears.  I pursued my dreams; won sizable scholarships that enabled me to attend top programs in the U.S.; got a doctorate in my field of interest; and, carved out a successful, interesting, and, generally, rewarding career.

Do what you love, my sons, and you never have to “work” a day in your life.  Follow your interests and dreams.

Also, don’t buy the hype about this or that person having it all.  You never know the burdens carried by others.  Hell is visited upon each of us in our own unique ways.  None can escape it.  We all have our insecurities, fears, doubts, and weaknesses.  As noted in “Richard Rory”, never believe that just because someone has the looks, the mannerism, and the trappings of wealth and royalty, his life is without difficulties.  He, too, has his own demons to fight. (As reminded by the recent anniversary of Princess Diana’s death, her marriage to Prince Charles brought her more misery than it was worth: thus, she eventually divorced him.  Even marrying the future king of England has its costs.)  MIND YOU, SUICIDE IS THE COWARD’S WAY OUT AND THAT IS NOT WHAT I’M ADVOCATING HERE.

I recall a radio talk show years ago, where a prominent and wealthy lawyer was a guest.  An individual called in to the show and said she wished she made as much money as he.  He responded, “You can have my money, but you will also have to take all my responsibilities along with it.”

I believe the Buddha is right when he said, “Life is suffering.”   But, you can overcome it by changing the way you think and how you approach life.

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We’re not Buddhist, but do you not see that I share many of the same philosophies espoused by the Buddha?  At his core, he is but a humanist, isn’t he?  Isn’t Jesus also a humanist?  Aren’t all the great ones in history and folklore humanists also?

Live right.  You will find that living right helps relieve the burdens of life.

Be well, my sons.

All my love, always,

Dad

4 years, 8 months, and 2 days. You know that you shouldn’t be watching pornography and over-sexed TV shows at this age, so don’t.

[A] 2005 study by the London School of Economics found that more affluent children are more likely to have their own computers, and tend to navigate further and more skillfully around the internet. They also spend more time on the web, have better online skills — and are well-versed at evading parental monitoring.

The study of 1,297 children also found that while 57 per cent of the over-nines had seen porn online, only 16 per cent of parents knew. One can only imagine how much higher the number is today, six years later.

In fact, it’s become so widespread that it’s changing our children’s view of what sex is — and what is most worrying is that we don’t even realise it’s happening….

Straight consensual intercourse is almost non-existent because it is considered boring.

Instead, the first glimpse of sex your child is ever likely to see may well be sickening images where women are degraded in the most disturbing ways.

Because we rarely talk about porn with our children, they don’t know it’s fiction and naturally assume it’s what grown-ups actually do.

The sex our daughters hear so much about — and feel so much pressure to take part in — is shown as a brutal sport that men do to women. There’s no kissing, no expressions of love or moments of tenderness.

For children, who are born with an inbuilt sense of right and wrong, these images can be deeply disorientating.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1380257/Is-YOUR-child-watching-porn-The-effects-graphic-sex-images-young-minds.html#ixzz4sQvzg2KQ

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Children as young as 8 and 9 are coming across sexually explicit material on the Internet and in other media. Although research is just beginning to assess the potential damage, there is reason to believe that early exposure to sexual content may have the following undesirable effects:

Early Sex. Research has long established that teens who watch movies or listen to music that glamorizes drinking, drug use or violence tend to engage in those behaviors themselves. A 2012 study shows that movies influence teens’ sexual attitudes and behaviors as well. The study, published in Psychological Science, found that the more teens were exposed to sexual content in movies, the earlier they started having sex and the likelier they were to have casual, unprotected sex.

In another study, boys who were exposed to sexually explicit media were three times more likely to engage in oral sex and intercourse two years after exposure than non-exposed boys. Young girls exposed to sexual content in the media were twice as likely to engage in oral sex and one and a half times more likely to have intercourse. Research also shows that teens who listened to music with degrading sexual references were more likely to have sex than those who had less exposure.

Why are teens more likely to have sex after being exposed to sexual content in the media? Just as we read specific books and show educational movies to our children in hopes that they learn lessons from the characters, the media provides a type of sex education to young people. Media messages normalize early sexual experimentation and portray sex as casual, unprotected and consequence-free, encouraging sexual activity long before children are emotionally, socially or intellectually ready.

High-Risk Sex. The earlier a child is exposed to sexual content and begins having sex, the likelier they are to engage in high-risk sex. Research shows that children who have sex by age 13 are more likely to have multiple sexual partners, engage in frequent intercourse, have unprotected sex and use drugs or alcohol before sex. In a study by researcher Dr. Jennings Bryant, more than 66 percent of boys and 40 percent of girls reported wanting to try some of the sexual behaviors they saw in the media (and by high school, many had done so), which increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Sex, Love and Relationship Addictions. Not every child who is exposed to sexual content will struggle with a mental health disorder, but research shows that early exposure to pornography is a risk factor for sex addictions and other intimacy disorders. In one study of 932 sex addicts, 90 percent of men and 77 percent of women reported that pornography was a factor in their addiction. With the widespread availability of explicit material on the Internet, these problems are becoming more prevalent and are surfacing at younger ages.

Sexual Violence. According to some studies, early exposure (by age 14) to pornography and other explicit material may increase the risk of a child becoming a victim of sexual violence or acting out sexually against another child. For some people, habitual use of pornography may prompt a desire for more violent or deviant material, including depictions of rape, torture or humiliation. If people seek to act out what they see, they may be more likely to commit sexual assault, rape or child molestation.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/real-healing/201208/overexposed-and-under-prepared-the-effects-early-exposure-sexual-content

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Ok, let’s take this issue head on and deal with it.  Not being there and knowing how your mom is hands-off when it comes to your upbringing, I can only assume that you’ve seen porn on the internet and elsewhere.  (In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if B, your older but low-minded cousin who used to steal your toys, has even purposefully introduced to you porn.)

You know that X-rated and R-rated movies are restricted to people of certain age (18 and 16, respectively).  Thus, you know that it’s wrong to secretly look for and look at pornographic images and videos when adults are not around.  If you know it’s wrong, don’t do it.  It’s that simple.  Have self control.

The reason porn is restrict to older individuals is because young kids are not mentally prepared to process the images they see.  Porn is like fast food.  It’s stimulates the senses, but is mostly unhealthy and bad for you.

For example, these days, most porn include anal sex as if it’s normal.  It is not.  In fact, the sphincter muscle — which prevents poop from dripping out of you when you are not pooping — can get over-stretched by anal sex and, over time, stop being able to clinch to stop poop from falling out whenever.  Yes, if this happens, the person will end up having to wear diaper to not shit her pants.

Full-thickness rectal prolapse.

If you love or even care about the girl, would you want this to happen to her?  Think about it.

And this is the least of the problems.  For example, the anus and intestine are not meant for sex; thus, they could tear during sex.  Yes, you could have cuts inside your butt.  Worse, the wall of the cavity inside your anus could come out and protrude outside of the anus.  Yes, in essence, the inside of your butt could come out.  Pleasant, eh?  Worst yet, there have been cases where the thin muscle that separates the vagina from the intestine gets torn.  Yes, in those cases, poop comes out of the vagina when the person goes to the bathroom.  It’s not a pleasant image, is it?  Now imagine all the germs and bacteria from one’s feces infecting the womb where babies come from. No, it’s not good.  Would you want the possibility of that happening to someone you love or care about?

Rectal prolapse

For now, I know you’re curious, but I ask that you refrain from watching porn and engaging in premarital sex.  One day, when you are old enough, you will find love that is amazing.  In that loving relationship, the sex will also be amazing because it would be about the expression of love for someone you care deeply about.  It’s worth the wait, my sons.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

 

 

 

4 years, 8 months, and 1 day. Human desires are bottomless pits and trying to fill them is an unending task. Don’t indulge in such inexhaustible pursuits.

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[The problem is we are getting t]oo much dopamine and not enough serotonin, the neurotransmitters of the brain’s “pleasure” and “happiness” pathways… Despite what the telly and social media say, pleasure and happiness are not the same thing. Dopamine is the “reward” neurotransmitter that tells our brains: “This feels good, I want more.” Yet too much dopamine leads to addiction. Serotonin is the “contentment” neurotransmitter that tells our brains: “This feels good. I have enough. I don’t want or need any more.” Yet too little serotonin leads to depression. Ideally, both should be in optimal supply. But dopamine drives down serotonin. And chronic stress drives down both.

Too many of our “simple pleasures” have morphed into something else – a 6.5-oz soda became a 30z Big Gulp drink; an afternoon with friends gave way to 1,000 friendings on Facebook. Each of these momentary pleasures is just that – momentary. But chronic dopamine from your favourite “fix” reduces serotonin and happiness.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/09/pursuit-of-pleasure-modern-day-addiction

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Beware of the elusive and destructive “pursuit of happiness.”  Don’t buy into the lie.  Happiness is like a butterfly.  No matter how fast you run and how hard you work, it will continue to elude your grasp so long as you chase it.  However, if you bathe, wear bright clothes, find a peaceful spot in the garden, and sit still, you’ll find that butterflies may come to you.

Happiness is like that.  When you are too busy chasing after the things that make you happy, you get caught up in the chase and fail to slow down to enjoy the moments that make up life, those moments in which happiness is hidden and waiting to be discovered.  For example, happiness is being with you, watching you play, hearing you tell your stories and your discoveries, seeing the brightness in your eyes.  The activities in which we are engaged in those moments are unimportant.  If I over-emphasize those activities and put too much import in making sure they are perfect (as we are apt to do), I would have overlooked those moments of happiness from simply being in your presence.

Tips for Getting a Butterfly to Land on You

If you’re lucky, a butterfly might land on you while you are in the exhibit. Though there’s no guarantee this will work but, you can do a few things to increase your chances. The best rule of thumb is to act like a flower:

  • Wear brightly colored clothes. I have a bright yellow and orange tie-dyed shirt that always seems to lure butterflies to me.
  • Smell sweet. If you’re wearing a skin lotion or perfume that smells a bit like flowers, that attract a hungry butterfly.
  • Stay still. Flowers don’t move, so you won’t fool a butterfly if you’re walking around. Find a bench and stay put for a while.

https://www.thoughtco.com/prepare-for-a-visit-butterfly-house-1968200

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgDy-WQnC5M

But, worse, in truth, the “pursuit of happiness” in modern time has turned into nothing but the unrelenting pursuit of pleasure.  We stuff ourselves with Doritos, sodas, and other junk food because food scientists at Frito-Lay, PepsiCo, and elsewhere found the exact chemical formula to ensure those chips, drinks, etc. stimulate our taste buds and ensure we cannot stop at eating just one chip, one sip, etc.  See, e.g., http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/24/magazine/the-extraordinary-science-of-junk-food.html.  Gaming companies spend billions of dollars and countless hours scouring psychological studies and techniques to ensure their games produce the optimum mix of reward and chance to ensure that players would spend hours hooked to the game.  Social media giants are no less devious.

As stated in the Guardian article above, dopamine is the reward neurotransmitter that tells our brain Doritos taste good and you should have another.  Unfortunately, that way lies food addiction and obesity.

On the other hand, serotonin is the contentment neurotransmitter that tells us we’ve had our fill of the good stuff and should stop.  While serotonin cannot be found in chips, sodas, and video games, it can be yours with a massage, meditation, outdoors activities in the bright sunlight, exercise, or a healthy diet.  See, e.g., https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/; and, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/prefrontal-nudity/201111/boosting-your-serotonin-activity.  (Yeah, there’s science behind that as well … the good science, not the science that feeds the greed.)

My sons, don’t feed the black hole that is man’s unquenchable desires.  If you chase after pleasure, you will find it a relentless and endless pursuit.  Our brain is hardwired to adapt, so a new watch or a new game will quickly lose its luster as you adjust to having it and reset your sight on something different. See, e.g., http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/07/magazine/the-futile-pursuit-of-happiness.html.

Still yourself.  Enjoy the moment and the people around you.  Help those less fortunate.  Work with others to build a better community for yourselves.  I promise that you will find the effort extremely rewarding, and happiness will ensues.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

4 years, 7 months, and 13 days. Be perseverant and resilient, not fragile

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My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Shosh, when you were a toddler, you had amazing dexterity.  You’d go around and pick up the tiniest pieces of lint, scraps of paper, threads, etc.  We’ve seen you try and try again to pick things up with your little fingers and not give up until you’ve accomplished your goal.  THAT’S PERSEVERANCE AND RESILIENCE!

Perseverance and resilience are necessary conditions for success, my sons.  Nothing worthwhile comes easy.  Push yourselves to succeed — even when you don’t feel like it.  Giving up offers you a moment’s respite, but will give you a lifetime of regrets.  Don’t give in to that temptation.  Fight for your dreams and goals.  Only you can get yourself there — no one else.

Look around you.  People are so fragile these days.  They are weak and fragile and complain about everything.  They blame everything and everyone for their own failures.  Don’t be like them.  Own your mistakes and learn from it.   Rest when you must, conserve your strength as necessary, but never give up.

Life is fragile — it can be taken from us at any moment — but we are not fragile.  We are strong, and we are resilient.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

 

4 years, 7 months, and 8 days. Adopt the habits of the successful, not the unsuccessful.

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7 daily habits of rich people that you should copy

Habit #1: Exercise

In his research, Corley found that rich people exercised an average of 30 minutes, four days a week. So whether it’s a high-intensity CrossFit workout or a walk with my wife, I dedicate an hour a day to fitness. While I used to squeeze in workouts whenever I could spare the time, I now make it happen no matter what….

Habit #2: Build relationships

Relationships are the currency of the wealthy, Corley says. I keep a running list of positive influencers in my life and regularly connect with them. I call to say hello and listen to what’s going on in their lives….

Habit #3: Visualize your goals

Daymond John from “Shark Tank” has shared that he looks at his list of seven goals—each with an expiration date and action plan—when he wakes up and before bed. I wanted to attack my goals with the same intensity….

Habit #4: Read. A lot

According to author and speaker Grant Cardone, the most successful CEOs read an average of 60 books a year, whereas the average American worker reads just one—and earns 319 times less. After setting my own goal of consuming two books a month, I followed Corley’s other tips to make time: I stopped watching TV and listen to audiobooks in the car….

Habit #5: Practice affirmations

Self-concept is a huge influence on your quality of life. The more you like yourself, the higher your self-esteem and well-being. Once I learned this, I made up daily affirmations related to the most important areas of my life, from faith and family to business….

Habit #6: Volunteer

In his study, Corley found that 72% of the wealthy volunteer for at least five hours a week, compared with just 12% of the poor. Of course, there are many reasons to volunteer, but he says the rich use the opportunity to expand their network of like-minded people….

Habit #7: Confide in a mentor who’s been in your shoes

Even the most successful people on earth value mentors who’ve walked in their shoes and made it to the other side. Mark Zuckerberg credits Steve Jobs as his mentor, and Bill Gates has talked about how Warren Buffett mentored him through challenges at Microsoft.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/7-daily-habits-of-rich-people-that-you-should-copy-2017-08-09?link=sfmw_tw

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai, now compare that list with the list of the habits of unsuccessful people.

7 Habits of Poor People that You Should Avoid.

1. Buying small stuff. Have you tried going to a “bargain”? And when you go home, you realized you have bought some small stuffs that when you add them it cost you about more or less P500? Or did you try to go to Divisoria and spent almost P1000 for little things that you don’t really need? These are some of the bad habits of poor people, buying small stuffs that they don’t actually need.

2. Depending on one job only. One source of income is fine but it cannot give you an abundant life. It will just drive you around to the poor road and never get out of it. That’s why I don’t believe in the famous saying, “live within your means, I say instead, “increase your means”. Living only in one income will just allow you to survive life but cannot give you wealth. That’s how poor people work. They depend on one income only for the rest of their life.

3. Spending money for a “good luck”. I used to live in a community where everyone was poor, including my family. It’s only now that I recall that people there have common spending habit, they include “jueteng, gambling and lotto” in their budget. They believe in good luck to have money without realizing that doing these hurt their budget and worst making them poor as always.

4. Neglecting to save and invest. These two things are actually not included in the vocabulary of poor people. Even though they have full time job, it’s not their habit to save nor to invest. This is probably the reason, why they keep borrowing money when there is an emergency or occasion. That’s why in their next salary, they run short and borrow again, repeating the cycle.

5. They love to “rest” rather than think, plan and do more. Poor people always rest. They always long to lie down after meal, watch “teleserye” and sit down for a long period of time instead of thinking or planning about their work, plans etc. Poor people failed to recognize the power of thinking. Idowi Koyenikan once said, “never underestimate the power of thought; it is the greatest path to discovery”. It’s probably one of the reasons, why they don’t discovery new ways to improve their living. They are lack in “thinking time”.

6. They maintain poor friends. Jim Rohn says, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend time with”. So if you are poor, chances are, you surround yourself with poor or nearly poor people. That’s the habit of poor people, they fail to meet new friends intentionally. Friends who are rich and successful. That’s probably the reason, why they remain poor, because they don’t hear anything new, they see new opportunity and worst, and they adopt poor mentality.

7. They don’t read. Try to visit the home of rich and poor people, the rich man’s house has library and the poor man’s house has no library or even small collection of books. Since they failed to read, they miss the opportunity to learn new things, to read success stories that they can emulate and to learn tips on how to have financial freedom.

http://changeforlifesuccess.com/7-habits-poor-people-avoid/

Now, let’s be clear: I’m not saying eschew the impoverished and those down on their luck.  Monetary wealth may be a temporary state for those rich in thought, spirit, and friends.  They will find a way to be successful … they may not end up with a lot of financial wealth, but their lives will be rich and meaningful.

On the other hand, I am saying avoid the whiners, the nay-sayers, and those who forever blame others for their own lack of success.  Avoid these like the plague.  They will only drag you down.  Theirs is but a life of misery.  Everyday is but another opportunity for them to affirm how others are cheating them of their future, how others have it good and have the smile of fortune while misfortune dogs them, etc.  They fail to acknowledge how their negativity and misery chase away opportunities and the smile of fortune.

  1. Read voraciously
  2. Exercise daily
  3. Believe in yourselves
  4. Help others
  5. Make friends
  6. Follow your dreams
  7. Do your best always
  8. Ask for help when you need it
  9. Be grateful for your health, your intellect, your friends, your family, the opportunities you’ve been given, and the opportunities you will be able to cultivate

Be well, my sons.  Be happy.  Be successful in life

All my love, always,

Dad