5 years, 3 months, and 12 days. Life is fragile. Embrace and cherish it.

https://i0.wp.com/gogreencars.is/skrar/image/stadsetningar/Sunset_At_Seljalandsfoss_Waterfall.jpg

Iceland’s Most Famous Waterfall Is Big Enough To Stand Inside, Which Is Pretty Incredible

This is Seljalandsfoss, arguably Iceland’s most famous waterfall. In a boundless green field, the cascade drops a whopping 200 feet from rocks above into a serene little pool below.

The most insane part of Seljalandsfoss, though, is that you can hike through the back of the falls and view them from the inside out.

This means you can stand alone in a glowing cavern while the sunset shines through the waterfall stream.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/06/seljalandsfoss_n_5078069.html

 

World’s Best Trip: Kauai, Hawaii

Andrew McCarthy

July 29, 2011

The Trip

It may be the most dramatic vista anywhere in Hawaii: from the bluffs above the eastern tip of Hanalei Bay, on the North Shore of Kauai, you look out on a crescent-shaped beach. Tireless waterfalls spill from jagged cliffs in deep green valleys. Clouds hover and vaporize. A rain shower rolls across the far side of the bay while the sun blazes down on you. Anchoring this ridge is the recently renovated St. Regis Princeville Resort, 252 spacious rooms carved into a cliff. On one side of the property is the Makai Golf Club, one of Hawaii’s most famous courses. On the other, after clambering 100 feet down a steep, rocky trail, you’ll find a more private piece of paradise: Pali Ke Kua Beach, where the only other living creature might be a sea turtle laying her eggs. Nature still calls the shots on Kauai, something you’ll notice whether you’re hiking the Kalalau Trail, which clings to the Napali Coast for 11 miles of views and switchbacks; kayaking through rain forests with Outfitters Kauai; or dining at 22° North, a restaurant in Lihue that uses ingredients sourced from its own two-acre farm. Perhaps that’s why you always feel like a better version of yourself when you’re in Kauai, and why you’ll keep returning.

Kauai Affordable Tip: On the sun-drenched western coast, the Waimea Plantation Cottages are scattered around 27 acres of wide lawns, coconut palms, and empty hammocks—pure old-school Hawaiian aloha. Doubles from $215.

Kauai Family Tip: Stop for a delicately flavored shave ice—the beloved island version of a snow cone—at Wishing Well Shave Ice, a stand in Hanalei. Shave ice from $4.

http://www.travelandleisure.com/articles/worlds-best-islands-kauai-hawaii

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Life is so precious, my sons.  The beauty it offers is boundless!  Seek it out and bask in it.  Enjoy it!  Be grateful for it.

Too many of us live with the illusion of control — the illusion that we’ll continue to have tomorrow what we have today.   Don’t fall for the illusion.  Control is but illusory.  At any moment, all of it can be taken from us.  Look at what happened to us, our family, our home.

But, our circumstances are not unique.  Recently, a great flood was visited upon the people of Kauai, Hawaii.  The destruction is heart-breaking.  Mind you, the tragedy and devastation that befell the people of Puerto Rico or Duoma, Syria, is no less heart-breaking, but I don’t know Puerto Rico or Duoma. I am, however, familiar with Kauai.

2018 Flood - US Coast Guard

2018 Flood 3 - Lace Andersen

2018 Flood -Kauai-Hawaii

2018 Kauai Flood – Rains From Hanalei To Ke’e Cause Damage – Hawaii

Published on April 19, 2018 by Rae-Marie May

By now most of you have heard about the devastating storm that hit Kauai last weekend and will forever be called the 2018 Kauai Flood. The torrential rains caused major flooding; mostly targeting the area north of Princeville from Hanalei to Ke’e. It started on Saturday morning and by Saturday night the rain was coming down in buckets. The reports are that 27 inches fell in 24 hours in Hanalei! With that rain came the brightest lightening and the loudest thunder I have ever witnessed. Needless to say, not a lot of sleep was had by anyone on Kauai’s north shore on Saturday night.

And then the rains continued all day Sunday. The result was massive flooding in all areas within a few feet elevation of sea level. Take a look at downtown Hanalei on Monday. Businesses and homes were filled with muddy water, so much so that a few people had to be rescued from their roofs.

https://vacationsoup.com/2018-kauai-flood-hawaii/

We used to go to Kauai, Hawaii, for vacation.  (Jaialai, this was before your time.  This was during the good years before I blew the whistle against the Enron of Healthcare and before my career was sidetracked.)  Kauai is known as the Garden Island, and we loved the lushness and tranquility the island offers.  We’d stay in Princeville, wander Hanalei, eat shaved ice at Wailua or Wishing Well Shave Ice, snorkel at Hideaway Beach or Nualolo Kai, eat saimin at Hamura’s, and spend hours basking in the beauty of the place.

Pray for those who are suffering.  Take a moment to give thanks for the safety and comfort you are blessed with at the moment.  Be grateful.

I am forever grateful for having two wonderful sons.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

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5 years, 2 months, and 26 days. Find joy. Cherish and be grateful for those joyous moments.

https://shoshandjaialai.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/63fdf-sunrise2bin2bmountain2bnature2bwallpaper.jpg?w=1415&h=943

https://i2.wp.com/drivenoutside.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/lawn.jpg

https://i0.wp.com/www.anywherethatswild.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/P10308461.jpg

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Life is tough.  There is no getting around that.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is deluding him- or herself.  Life’s challenges worm their way into everyone’s life.

Thus, find joy where ever you may.  The smell of the first rainfall on parched earth.  Sunrise.  Freshly cut grass.  How your little hand felt in mine when we went for walks back then.  The sound of your laughter.  That mischievous glint in your eye.  The feel of waves.  The beach.  Sand.  A smile.  Hummingbirds.  A cool breeze.  Heat.  Salty butter on crunchy baguette.  The smell of coffee.  Home.

Be present, immerse yourselves in the joyous experience, and be grateful for them.  Don’t let the travails of life detract from its beauty. Hold on to the good and beautiful.  Be present, but revisit these moments of beauty as necessary to keep your spirits up.  Remember, self-care is critical.  Live to fight another day.

Life is what you make of it.  If you focus on the negative, then life will be the shits.  Why would you want to do that to yourself.  Feed the positive and work towards the possible.  Whatever challenges currently plaguing you will pass.  Don’t let it consume you.  Where’s the joy in that?

Make your life a testament to its beauty.  Let it be a symbol of hope for those without.  But, more importantly, immerse yourselves in that which is beautiful and joyous so that YOUR LIFE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL AND JOYOUS.  That is my wish for you, my sons.  Enjoy life regardless of the bitter cup presently set upon your lips.  This too will pass.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/24/e3/07/24e3073f9d7b9ed160ffaa8a3ea0d2c3.jpg

All my love, always,

Dad

 

 

5 years, 2 months, and 10 days. Beware: pride comes before a fall.

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My most dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

I apologize for not writing the past several days.  They have been among the darkest.

As I come away from the morass, I am reminded of the above proverb.  As I’ve said earlier, pride is one of the 7 Deadly Sins, yet so many are afflicted by it…myself included.  This is the challenge of life, isn’t it — to struggle daily to live right?

"Any idiot can face a crisis; it's this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov [800x600]

(https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/06/14/face-crisis/)

There is a fine line between confidence, pride, and arrogance.  You can be proud of your achievements, your heritage, etc., but don’t hold it over others as if they are your inferior because they are found wanting, they didn’t measure up.  Remember,

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/71/42/b9/7142b93582cb21abbf3c2682f572c333.jpg

Nothing in life is a given.  The gifts of today may be taken away tomorrow … or even sooner.

Work hard to be your best.  Strive daily to improve.  But, always be grateful for what you have.  You stand on the shoulder of giants.  Without the knowledge and contributions of those who came before you or I, we’d still be standing there trying to figure out how to rub sticks together to create fire.

We’re not where we are today due solely to our own efforts.  We were fortunate enough to be born into good families and to live in a safe and secure country, where — thanks to the grace of God — we have the economic means to nourish our bodies and our minds.  Millions of American children are not so fortunate. See, e.g., http://abcnews.go.com/US/hunger_at_home/hunger-home-american-children-malnourished/story?id=14367230; and, https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/majority-of-us-public-school-students-are-in-poverty/2015/01/15/df7171d0-9ce9-11e4-a7ee-526210d665b4_story.html?utm_term=.cbbe42e79afd.  The problem is even more acute worldwide.  http://www.thp.org/knowledge-center/know-your-world-facts-about-hunger-poverty/.  We are where we are today because fate was kind to us.  We were not born deformed and in impoverish countries, where hope is in short supply.  Count your blessings.

https://www.livelifehappy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/if-you-have-food-in-your-fridge.png

Recently, I came across two elderly PhD’s who stayed in youth hostels during their travels, but who could not stop bragging about how great they are, how much they knew, how no one was better than they, etc.  Their pride and arrogance blinded them to the irony that they were making such claims even as they, as old people, were staying at cheap youth hostels that catered to young and poor travelers.

If they were so brilliant and great, how is it that financial and professional success eluded them?  Are the rest of us simply too stupid to appreciate their greatness?  Is that why society, as a whole, has failed to shower them with adulation and success?

It does happen that a genius is misunderstood and underappreciated by society.  It happens, but it’s rare.  For example, Galileo was a man before his time and was punished by the Church for asserting that the Sun is the center of our galaxy and not the Earth, as the Church taught at the time.  It took the Church more than 300 years to forgive his “error”.  See, e.g., https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/galileo-is-convicted-of-heresy; and, https://www.nytimes.com/1992/10/31/world/after-350-years-vatican-says-galileo-was-right-it-moves.html.  But, in the history of mankind as written over the tens of thousands of years of our existence and the billions who have lived, how many Galileos have we?  Few and far in between.

Given the remoteness of the probability that these elderly doctorates were cut from the same cloth as Galileo, we turn to the more likely answer:  they are simply not as great as they claim to be.  They stay in youth hostels because they do not have the financial means to stay in a more comfortable, upscale, and expensive hotels.  Financial and professional success has eluded them because their egos far exceeds their actual skills.  They would be wise to boast less and do more.

For the most part, society pays people their worth.  Elite athletes, doctors, lawyers, etc., are paid handsomely to compensate them for their superior skills … which are in short supply in society.  We pay the less skilled significantly less money because they are easily replaced, i.e., there are many workers available in the marketplace with similar skills as theirs.  Thus, with rare exceptions, it is folly for someone to claim greatness when professional success eludes them.  (Again, with few exceptions, most of their peers in their profession should be able to assess their true value, don’t you think?  Exceptions exist, but are few and far in between.  See, e.g., http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-people-who-became-famous-after-death.php.)

Be not like those braggarts.  Focus on being and doing your best; fame and fortune will follow.  Concern yourself not with self-praise.  Let your praise be the domain of others … if they see fit.

(A corollary is to always watch what people do, but not accept as truth what people say.  Listen to what they say, thank them, but hold it at bay until you could confirm the veracity of their statements.  Then, and only then, act on the information as you see fit.  If it is true and wise counsel, take it to heart and internalize it.  If it is false, discard it.  If it has contains both truth and falsehood, then select the best part and discard the remainder.)

Be yourself, but be your best self.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

5 years, 1 month, and 23 days. Home is where the heart is.

https://shoshandjaialai.files.wordpress.com/2018/03/b09bf-home-is-where-the-heart-is.jpg?w=656

https://drapesandsquares.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/tumblr_m51yncbhwk1rszg72o2_500.jpg?w=656

 

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.  They’re wrong.  While that may be true for some, most of us are aware of the good things going on in our lives but are often too busy to be fully present to enjoy them.  Further, we often assume those things will always be there.  We are wrong.

Life if fickle.  Control is illusory.  We think we are the masters of our fate and we are in control of our lives, but we are foolish.  Life happens.  It happens how and when it wants.  In a heartbeat, a fire could burn down everything you have worked your entire life to build,

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a hurricane could reduce to rubles everything you cherished,

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an inhumane creature could take your life or the lives of your loved ones.

https://i2.wp.com/prepare-and-protect.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/gty_colorado_school_shooting_a_131213_16x9_992.jpg

You have but to look at our own circumstances to see the point.  I have spent chunks of my life helping others — tutoring kids; helping the elderly with groceries; prepare food for the poor; researching and writing a policy to prevent the homeless from freezing to death during inclement weather, and volunteering at that emergency shelter; providing free legal services to refugees and asylum seekers; providing free legal services to victims of domestic violence; etc.  Never in a million years could I imagine that racist thugs would collaborate with a known pedophile to harm us.

Because you never know when something near and dear to you will be taken from you, be present as much as you can each and every day to soak in all that goodness.  Don’t buy into the illusion that you’ll always have what you currently have.

Embrace your brother.  Watch over each other.  Take care of each other.  Each of you is worth more than your weight in diamonds and gold.  I would give all the wealth in the world to be with you now….

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., I leave you with these thoughts:https://i0.wp.com/www.sunshineandhurricanes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Collect-Memories-Not-Things-Meme.jpg

Buying New Experiences, Not Things, Tied to Happiness

Buying New Experiences, Not Things, Tied to HappinessA new study suggests that those who spend money to do things are happier than those who spend their money on possessions.

In the study, investigators determined extraverts and people who are open to new experiences are more apt to spend more of their disposable income on experiences, such as concert tickets or a weekend away, rather than hitting the mall for material items.

Investigators, led by San Francisco State University Professor, Ryan Howell, discovered the habitual “experiential shoppers” reported greater life satisfaction.

To further investigate how purchasing decisions impact well-being, Howell and colleagues have launched a website where members of the public can take free surveys to find out what kind of shopper they are and how their spending choices affect them.

Data collected through the “Beyond the Purchase” website will be used by Howell and other social psychologists.

The site is designed to study the link between spending motivations and well-being, and how money management influences our financial and purchasing choices.

In the current study, Howell and colleagues surveyed nearly 10,000 participants, who completed online questionnaires about their shopping habits, personality traits, values and life satisfaction.

“We know that being an ‘experience shopper’ is linked to greater well-being,” said Howell, whose previous research on purchasing experiences challenged the adage that money can’t buy happiness.

“But we wanted to find out why some people gravitate toward buying experiences.”

Investigators determined an individual’s personality via a model that classifies how extraverted, neurotic, open, conscientious and agreeable a person is.

People who spent most of their disposable income on experiences scored highly on the “extravert” and “openness to new experience” scales.

“This personality profile makes sense since life experiences are inherently more social, and they also contain an element of risk,” Howell said. “If you try a new experience that you don’t like, you can’t return it to the store for a refund.”

Researchers believe it may be helpful if people would realize that life satisfaction and happiness can be influenced by their spending habits.

“Even for people who naturally find themselves drawn to material purchases, our results suggest that getting more of a balance between traditional purchases and those that provide you with an experience could lead to greater life satisfaction and well-being,” he said.

The research findings are published in the Journal of Positive Psychology.

 

 

5 years, 1 month, and 12 days. Live with purpose.

Intergenerational care: Where kids help the elderly live longer

‘Good things are happening’

“When we bring children and residents together, the elderly together, you can see right away that good things are happening,” Somers said.
These “good things” are evident to any observer.
More than 10 children make their way along the garden paths into the lounge where the residents are stretching their arms and shaking their legs. Most faces in the room are smiling, and a few residents reach out to encourage the kids to come toward them specifically.
As small children roam about, trying the exercises themselves, cuddling up to residents and in some cases performing headstands, the rest of the room comes alive.
“They’re responding to an external stimulus, which is a toddler with an adorable grin fumbling towards them, carrying a toy, trying to interact,” Somers said.
The benefits in terms of health are also clear to see.
Residents “very often forget their own physical limitations, and they find that they are encouraged; they stretch themselves; they will lean up out of their chair, extend a hand, engage in conversation,” she added.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/16/health/longevity-intergenerational-care-elderly-children-intl/index.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_health+%28RSS%3A+CNN+-+Health%29

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

First, I give you Schubert’s Ave Maria.  It is more beautiful than I can describe and my go-to when I am overwhelmed by the ugliness in the world today.  I hope it will give you as much comfort and delight as it has given me over the years.

Second, I updated the homepage for this blog to provide a roadmap.  What started out simply as letters to you about lessons I have learned over the years — hoping these lessons would help you avoid some of the pitfalls and mistakes I and others have made — has given rise to certain themes that if articulated might  help you better put these lessons into perspectives.  I copied the revised version below for your convenience.

Finally, I wanted to remind you to live life with purpose.  For some (many, actually), money or wealth is their raison d’etre.  But, that is an unwise choice.  On their deathbeds, no one asks for more time at the office making money.  Often, retirees lose their zest for life upon retirement because they lost their raison d’etre, their purpose in life.  As alluded to in the CNN article above, purpose is the zest of life … without it, we are lost and simply exist, not thrive.  I want you to thrive.

Years ago, when I sold books door to door, I met an elderly woman one early morning.  I knocked on her door, and, as we started to chat, she unloaded upon me a litany of ills that have befallen her.  After listening for a while, I asked, “Why do you get up in the morning, then?”  (Yes, I was young, and I was an idiot.  I would never be as blunt or rude today. Well, hopefully, I wouldn’t.)  At that point, she became upset and reversed herself, listing all the important things she had going on in her life and why it was important for her to get them done.  In other words, she changed her tune because she refocused on her purpose for living.

What do you live for?  I submit that you should live life to the fullest and make the world a better place along the way.  Below, in the revised homepage, are my thoughts on that.

I now leave you with my favorite quote from Hunter Thompson:

https://i0.wp.com/blog.zerodean.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/life-should-not-be-a-journey-to-the-grave-hunter-thompson.gif

Enjoy your ride!  But, remember that you can do well by doing good along the way.

All my love, always,

Dad

—————————————————————————————

My Dearest Shosh and Jaialai,

Life has its challenges and obstacles, but nothing changes that most basic, fundamental, and unadulterated truth: you two are the best things that have ever happened to me.  I am lucky to have you for my sons.

I love you with all my heart … always and forever.  Not a day passes that you are not in my thoughts, and your absence do not weigh heavily on my heart.

Current circumstances conspire to keep us apart.  But, that is only a temporary condition.  Know that everyday, I am doing my best to fight my way back to you so that I may be there to help you grow into the amazing men you will become.

These posts are but temporary solutions to fill the gap until my return. Through them, I hope to give you guidance and continue the lessons that were started from the moment you took your first breath — and took my breath away.

You will find that the overarching theme for this blog (and my life — and, hopefully, yours as well) is that WE SHOULD STRIVE TO LEAVE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR HAVING LIVED.  That’s my Golden Rule.  Consequently, the Corollary is to HELP IF YOU CAN, BUT DO NO HARM IF YOU CANNOT HELP.

Specifically, how do you make the world a better place?  First, be the best YOU can be. No one can ask for more of you.

To achieve that goal, I share with you lessons I’ve learned about how to live well and what it takes to be successful in America.  Note two things: (1) I am talking specifically about what it takes to achieve what is considered to be professional success in the U.S. and not elsewhere in the world; and, (2) the focus is on success as defined by society at large and not on your personal definition of success.  Your definition may be different.  That’s OK.  But, know that if you chose that path, it would be a rougher road to hew.  The choice remains yours.

Second, fight evil wherever you find it.  This is your duty as a human being.  We are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers.  If not us, than who?  I am always mindful of the words of Martin Niemoller, the Protestant pastor who spoke out against the Nazi and suffered in the concentration camp as a result.  He said,

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

https://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10007392

Regarding my prescriptions for a life well-lived, all I can say is be brave, my sons.  Be courageous enough to be the real you and the best you possible, despite the niggling comments of others.  Be strong enough to stand up for yourselves and your visions.  Be willing to fight for them.  Also, fight injustice.  Speak out against evil.

I know these are not small things I ask of you, but the world will tend towards disorder unless energy is expended to counteract the disorder.  If not us, then who?  We are the stewards of our world.  Do try to leave it a better place by actively working to make your little corner of the world a bit better than when you first found it and by stopping those who try to destroy whatever beauty lies there. A world without beauty is not a world in which we are meant to live and thrive.

Regarding our situation, be patient, my sons.  Be strong.  Be good.  The truth will prevail.  I promise.

It took me five years to fight the Enron of Healthcare and expose their corrupt practices.  How much longer will it take to fight and expose corrupt government officials?

Until we reunite, know that I love you always and forever.

All my love, always,

Dad

5 years, 1 month, and 10 days. Always be the well-mannered gentlemen I raised you to be.

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My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Always be polite — it warms the hearts of those who matter, and rankles the uncouth who expect you to descend to their level.  More importantly, what you say and do reflect on you, and I want the well-bred and the people of quality to count you among their number.  The alternative is highly undesirable, even if their number grows by leaps and bounds everyday.

It seems politeness and manners have fallen out of fashion.  How unfortunate!!!  Life is hard enough as it is without additional friction, vitriol, and rancor added to the mix simply because people cannot conform themselves to the rules of social behavior.

These people lack discipline.  One of your aunts, for example, is known for telling people off — including her bosses, siblings, or whoever — whenever she felt like it.  As you can imagine, she is the least successful among us, has been in one abusive relationship after another, and has condemned her daughter to a life of misery.  She ruined her life and the lives of those she professed to love because she simply lacked the discipline to conform herself to the rules of social behaviors.

If she’d live by herself in the wild, then she would be free to do as she pleased.  No one would care because no one would be around.  However, as soon as a community exist (and that may be a community of two), then understandings must be reached to foster better cooperation between members of the community for the good of the community as a whole.

Garrett Hardin states this best as the Tragedy of the CommonsSee, e.g., https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-tragedy-of-the-commons/; and, https://pages.mtu.edu/~asmayer/rural_sustain/governance/Hardin%201968.pdf.)  If the community has a pond from which members were free to fish and feed themselves, for example, and each member took as much as he pleased and wasted what he caught without regards to other members of the community, then, in time, there would be no more fish for anyone to enjoy.  Everyone would suffer. However, if everyone exercised discipline and conformed their behaviors to the rules of the community, then all members of the society could enjoy the fruits of the pond for a long time — assuming they used good aquaculture management and care techniques.

To put it another way, communal life is like the waltz or other fine-tuned dance.  If everyone follows the rhythm of the music and the steps of the dance, then beauty ensues.  Everyone could enjoy him or herself.  If, however, some members of the party decide to dance off-beat and to whatever steps they fancy, then chaos ensues.  Dancers around them would not know what to expect and would be unable to avoid colliding into them.  These dancers would move away, stop dancing altogether, or leave that party to find their own venue where they could dance in peace.  Joy is thereby reduced the many because of the few.  Thus, the uncouth enjoy themselves at great expense to others and exact a high price on society as a whole.  The community is fractured.

Don’t contribute to the decline of the community.  It doesn’t matter if others do.  That’s on them.  You behave well because you are well-bred and well-mannered.  If you don’t, that would be on you.

I recently heard about a couple who refused clothing ensembles carefully selected and assembled by the grandmother of the couple’s new born, who hand-carried the ensembles to give to her new grandchild.  The couple broke her heart by saying their child only wore “organic cotton grown and processed in the U.S.”  The couple claims to be highborn, but their actions belie their words.

When given a gift, the ONLY permissible response is “Thank you”  — this is especially true when you are accepting the gift on behalf of another.  To respond in any other way is simply rude and unbecoming.

Now, if the gift should be inappropriate (because it is given with expectations of returns which you find intolerable or unacceptable, because it is given to make the giver look good and you look bad, etc.), then you may say, “Thank you, but I cannot accept this gift.”  To do otherwise would be to allow them to bring you to their levels.  They cannot ascend to your level; thus, they aspire to bring you down to theirs.  Don’t let them.

Manners matter, my sons.  Behave well.  You will find yourselves in better company by behaving well than by behaving badly.  “Bad boys” may be popular in high school and later in life to the ill-bred, but they rarely ascend the ladders of success and time/history will rarely treat them kindly.

All my love, always,

Dad

5 years and 10 days. Life is sales. Be good at it by focusing on the needs of others, instead of on what you are selling — your talents, your candidacy, your idea, etc.

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My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

It has been said that all of life is sales.  I cannot disagree.  Whether you realize it or not, you engage in sales tactics everyday.  You persuade a friend to go to see this movie instead of that, or do this activity instead of that.  That’s sales.  You try out for the school team or newspaper.  That’s sales.  You write an essay for college admission.  That’s sales.  You try to persuade a girl to go to the prom with you.   That’s sales.

In light of the above, in my opinion, the last image above is the most powerful.  People give up too easily.  They tried and failed, and they never try again.  That’s the Homer Simpson approach to life.

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Don’t be like them.  Perseverance is critical to success.  Learn from your mistake and try again.  Success comes to those to forge on, not those who give up.

More importantly, often, people fail because they focus on themselves or their products, but not on the needs of their customers.  They forget — it’s not about them; it’s about the customer.

If you meet or exceed the expectations of the person you are pitching to, you will succeed.  Learn to focus on the needs of others and how you can help others, and you will be surprise at how people will be drawn to you.

This reminds me of additional quotes by Zig Ziglar.  Read on.

Zig Ziglar: 10 Quotes That Can Change Your Life

Zig Ziglar died today at age 86. A World War II veteran, Zig Ziglar became the top sales person in several organizations before striking out on his own as a motivational speaker and trainer. With a Southern charm and lessons grounded in Christianity, Ziglar wrote over two dozen books and amassed a following of millions who were encouraged by his lessons for success.

Below are 10 quotes from Zig Ziglar that have the power to completely change the direction of one’s life.

10) “Remember that failure is an event, not a person.”

9) “You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”

8 ) “People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”

 7) “There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.”

6) “People don’t buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons.”

 5) “Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”

4) “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

3) “A goal properly set is halfway reached.”

2) “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

1) “If you can dream it, you can achieve it.”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kevinkruse/2012/11/28/zig-ziglar-10-quotes-that-can-change-your-life/#1f35930426a0

Have a good attitude, be a good friend, work hard, and enjoy a good life, my sons.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., please do not mistaken this post as an encouragement to become a salesman.  It is an honest profession and there is nothing wrong with it, but I would rather you pursue a career in which you can create something for the betterment of the world — be it an idea, an improved product, a new product, or simply something that brings light into someone’s life.  You are capable of so much more than selling the wares of others.  I, for example, sell ideas and solutions to people’s legal and healthcare problems.  That said, if sales is your vocation or avocation, then I fully support you.