5 years, 4 months, and 14 days. Keep your eyes on the prize.

 

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https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2009/05/trduty.jpg

 

The Man in the Arena by Theodore Roosevelt

theodore roosevelt pointing speaking president early 1900s

TR’s life shows us that hard work, tenacity, and a desire to do the right thing can get you far in life. In the most memorable section of his “Citizenship in a Republic” speech, Roosevelt captured his life philosophy in just a few sentences. “The Man in the Arena” tells us that the man we should praise is the man who’s out there fighting the big battles, even if those battles end in defeat. In our day, when cynicism and aloof detachment are considered hip and cool, TR reminds us that glory and honor come to those “who spend themselves in a worthy cause.”

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/manvotional-the-man-in-the-arena-by-theodore-roosevelt/ (emphasis added)

My dearest dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

I apologize for the absence.  The days have been challenging.

When the going gets tough, I seek comfort in the words of T.R. Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena” speech.  It is far better to have tried and failed (even failed greatly) than to have never tried at all.  People can bitch and moan all they want, but unless they are willing to pitch in and help bring about improvement, they are just wasted breath.

Unfortunately, too many these days are but useless talking heads.  I shall never forget a Superbowl ad I saw years ago:  two consultants were pitching an action plan to a company executive who replied, “Great!  I want you guys to execute that plan.”  The two consultants then laughed and said something to the effect of, “We are consultants.  We come up with the ideas, but we don’t know how to do it.”

Consultants these days are a dime a dozen — many are fresh out of college.  Without substantive knowledge and experience, on what are they basing their critical thinking and analytical skills?

Can critical thinking actually be taught?  Decades of cognitive research point to a disappointing answer: not really.  People who have sought to teach critical thinking have assumed that it is a skill, like riding a bicycle, and that, like other skills, once you learn it, you can apply it in any situation.  Research from cognitive science shows that thinking is not that sort of skill.  The processes of thinking are intertwined with the content of thought (that is, domain knowledge).

….

Thought processes are intertwined with what is being thought about.

Willingham, Daniel T., “Critical Thinking: Why Is It So Hard to Teach?” American Educator (Summer 2007), 8-10.

Thus, the lesson of the day is two-fold: gain substantive knowledge, and use it.

Be good, my sons.  Live well.  Be happy.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., I leave you with two additional thoughts.

 

https://i2.wp.com/www.relatably.com/q/img/theodore-roosevelt-quotes/Theodore-Roosevelt-inspirational-Quotes.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/fa/bb/b4/fabbb43eb5ef228a0bfdfdfe424a60b1.jpg

 

 

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5 years, 3 months, and 10 days. Living a good life is challenging. Live well anyway.

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https://shoshandjaialai.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/21dcb-emperor-has-no-clothes.jpg?w=656

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https://i2.wp.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/business-commerce-capitalism-capitalist_society-corporate_culture-unethical-fat_cats-cey0031_low.jpg

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

Today is a hard day.  Actually, it’s been a hard week.

But, no one promised you life would be easy.  If anyone did, he or she lied.

Life is a struggle … to do the right thing, to do the best you can under the circumstances, to be true to yourself despite pressures from all sides to conform to the wishes and demands of others, etc.  As Anton Chekhov said, “Any idiot can deal with a crisis; it’s this day-to-day living that wears you out.”

Live well anyway.  What choice have you?  You could lie, cheat, steal, and boot-lick your way up, but there is no honor in that.  Further, you will find that path unpleasant on the way up and that it never ends.  Change is a constant, and you must constantly kiss ass to remain in the position.  Is it really worth it?  Would you rather live honestly or would you rather be a two-faced, back stabbing bootlicker who’d sell his own mother for profit?

Be true to yourself, my sons.  It’s a tough road, but it is one that will enable you to look back on your life with pride.  It will give your life meaning, and will give reasons for those who matter in the world to celebrate your life instead of long for your death.  See, e.g., https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/17/us/barbara-bush-dead.html; and, https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/04/18/southwest-airlines-victim-jennifer-riordan/527363002/.

Buck up!  There will always be difficult days. But, strive to live such that more of your days are pleasant than unpleasant.

We are surrounded by ankle-biters, who will never amount to much.  But, that is the nature of ankle-biters: they are often of low- or poor-skills, will never make much of their lives, and are best at pulling others down to their levels.  Ignore them if you can, deal forcefully with them if you must, but spend most of your time pursuing your goals and dreams.  Your success is what they fear most … because it makes more stark their failures.

Be you.  Be the best you.  Find joy wherever and whenever you can.  Make it a priority to spend time with friends and people who love you.  Make friends.  Let nature nourish your body, heart, mind, and spirit.  Experience life.

Love with all you heart and soul because that is the only way to love and live.  To hedge your bet or to reciprocate only the feelings of another is to empower your mind to cage your heart and imprison it in fear.  Don’t do that.  Experience life.  With great love may come great loss, but at least you would have loved and lost rather than to have never experience such miracle and exquisite beauty.

https://quotefancy.com/media/wallpaper/1600x900/2008601-Alfred-Tennyson-Quote-It-s-better-to-have-loved-and-lost-than.jpg

https://i2.wp.com/www.todaysfitnesstrainer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/TFT_Lion-Sheep500x500.jpg?resize=500%2C500

All my love, always.  You are the best of me.

Dad

P.S., don’t buy the “fake news” crap that the dishonest espouses.  Reputable newspapers like the New York Times and Washington Post build their reputations over decades, and have processes in place to protect the hard-earned good-will and reputation they cultivated.  They make mistakes, as all humans are want to do, but they try to be fair and accurate.  That is a lot more than others who won’t even bother to be fair, accurate, or even truthful.

Congratulations to the New York Times, Washington Post, Arizona Republic, and others on their Pulitzer Prizes.  http://www.pulitzer.org/prize-winners-by-year/2018.

5 years, 3 months, and 8 days. Make a good first impression: be well-informed.

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A Harvard study revealed that it typically takes eight subsequent positive encounters to change another person’s negative opinion of you.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/02/10/the-do-over-how-to-correct-a-bad-first-impression/#3dece3f055f6

 

 

Recognize that changing someone’s perception will take time. As stated earlier, no matter who you are, you will inevitably make a less than positive impression on someone. While some have suggested that it can take months or even years to erase a bad first impression, a Harvard study suggests that it will take eight subsequent positive encounters to change that person’s negative opinion of you. In this context be persistent and patient.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140424005629-3411076-how-to-overcome-making-a-bad-first-impression

 

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

People are often full of shit.  Many will bluster or drone on and on about that which they know little.  They may cite one study or one source to validate their point.  Be not like them.

Be well-informed.  Read voraciously.  Read from diverse sources from different continents to combat biases and to gain greater perspective.  Think deeply and critically about what you read, see, and hear.  Never swallow wholesale what someone pitches; everyone has his/her biases.  Figure why they’re saying what they’re saying (e.g., are they paid to say it?), what they are omitting, what their assumptions are, etc.

One of my favorite dialogues are from the movie, The Negotiator, with Samuel Jackson and Kevin Spacey:

Now you're a history buff?
                 
I generally read histories and biographies.       

Don't believe everything you read.              

I didn't say I read just one book.                

I try to read all books on a subject.  You know, try to get all the facts...                

...and then decide for myself what really happened.

http://www.script-o-rama.com/movie_scripts/n/negotiator-script-transcript-kevin-spacey.html (emphasis added)

Too many people are careless with their reputation.  They say or repeat nonsense and expect there to be few consequences for spouting crap.  They are wrong.  People of caliber notice.  They, then, give wide berth to the uninformed for, except as sheep and mindless consumers, not much good come of being uninformed.

Remember, everything we say and do reflect well or poorly on us, as individuals.  Everything about us communicates something about ourselves.  Thus, strive to make a great impression.  Speak well.  Be thoughtful.  Be well-mannered.  Exude confidence.

Bad first impressions are extremely difficult to correct: people rarely give you eight chances to counteract that one bad first impression.  Their impression of you will color their view of all you do.  If they think you are smart, they will pass off a mistake as a one-off event and not let that affect their judgment of you.  Conversely, if they think you are an idiot, they will think something you did well is but a fluke and you remain an idiot.

Life is hard enough as it is.  Why would you choose to make it harder on yourselves by giving bad first impressions?  Don’t do it.

Be well-read, thoughtful, well-mannered, and kind.  Make a great first impression.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., all is not lost if you made a bad first impression.  It just means you have a lot of hard work ahead of you to correct it.

The Do-Over: How To Correct A Bad First Impression

 Last year I wrote about the nature of first impressions. We’re continually told of the importance of making positive first impressions, especially given how quickly we determine them. Some research suggests that first impressions can be so powerful that they’re weighed more heavily than fact. We know that making a good first impression is critical to success in both our jobs and personal lives, but the fact is that sometimes we flub them. Whether because of pressure, nervousness, a wrong approach, or distraction, we don’t always show up the way we intended.

The question then becomes, how do we correct a bad first impression?

Here’s the good news: impressions evolve over time. You may not get a second chance to make a first impression, but you can create an opportunity to correct one. Here are five ways to do so:

Realize that an initial impression is just that – a beginning.

We’ve all changed our opinion about someone the longer we’ve known them. Consider a colleague that you initially thought was standoffish, but after sharing a project realized was someone who just took a while to warm up.

If we look at first impressions as make-or-break opportunities, then it’s easy to make excuses for not trying to correct them. Instead, consider that impressions continuously evolve with multiple touch points. If you want someone to get to know the real you, then put yourself in front of them. Ask the person to lunch or volunteer to help them. By witnessing your skills and personality over a longer period of time, their perception of you can grow.

 Remember that repeated, small interactions build trust fastest.

A Harvard study revealed that it typically takes eight subsequent positive encounters to change another person’s negative opinion of you. So be persistent and play the long game.

Further, small, predictable interactions increase trust greater than a one-time splashy event. Take the pressure off yourself to knock someone’s socks off, and instead focus on demonstrating your value over an extended period of time. Strive to be consistent, follow up, and follow through.

Ask for a chance to correct.

Being straightforward can help minimize misunderstandings and reframe the discussion. Consider simply saying, “I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Can I take you to lunch?”

Honesty can be a game changer in any relationship and goes a long way toward changing someone’s perspective. If you feel that there’s a failure to connect interpersonally, provide your view of the situation and then vet it with the other person. Admit what caused your behavior that may have led to a wrong impression. If you have a family issue that caused you to be disengaged during a meeting, then say so. If the other party is as open minded as most people hope to be (more on this next), then they should give you the benefit of the doubt.

Remind the other person how open-minded he or she is.

Many people have what psychologists call an egalitarian goal, which means that they work hard to be open minded and fair in their interactions with others. Research shows that when you remind someone of their fairness, they will more conscientiously work to live up to that assessment.

Practically speaking, this means that after a less than stellar first interaction, you can send a follow up email and compliment the other person on their open mindedness or fairness in evaluating people. Or recognize how their perspicacity must be a real asset in their job. Reminding the other person of their egalitarian goal will help them remember to be more open minded in their perceptions of you.

Ask them for advice – on anything.

According to Wharton School professor Adam Grant, asking for advice is a smart way to be influential. Grant discusses one study in which researchers asked people to negotiate the possible sale of commercial property. When the sellers asked the buyers for advice on how to meet their goals, 42% were able to come to an agreement that made both sides happy.

“Asking for advice encouraged greater cooperation and information sharing, turning a potentially contentious negotiation into a win-win deal. Studies demonstrate that across the manufacturing, financial services, insurance and pharmaceuticals industries, seeking advice is among the most effective ways to influence peers, superiors, and subordinates,” Grant writes.

If you feel that you didn’t make a positive impression, follow up and ask the other person for advice on some aspect of work. This also allows you to get in front of the person again and make a new impression. Psychologist Robert Cialdini says that by asking for advice, you suddenly “have the basis of an interaction.” Advice can always be returned, as can a thank you.

Comment here or @kristihedges.

Kristi Hedges is a leadership coach, speaker and author of The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others. She blogs at kristihedges.com.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/02/10/the-do-over-how-to-correct-a-bad-first-impression/3/#7bbbb0f874de

 

5 years, 3 months, and 7 days. Social media creates barriers to real communication with real friends. True friends are priceless. Go spend time with them.

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Is Social Media Sabotaging Real Communication?

On a crisp Friday afternoon last October, Sharon Seline exchanged text messages with her daughter who was in college. They ‘chatted’ back and forth, mom asking how things were going and daughter answering with positive statements followed by emoticons showing smiles, b-i-g smiles and hearts. Happiness.

Later that night, her daughter attempted suicide.

In the days that followed, it came to light that she’d been holed up in her dorm room, crying and showing signs of depression — a completely different reality from the one that she conveyed in texts, Facebook posts and tweets.

As human beings, our only real method of connection is through authentic communication. Studies show that only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language. Indeed, it’s only when we can hear a tone of voice or look into someone’s eyes that we’re able to know when “I’m fine” doesn’t mean they’re fine at all…or when “I’m in” doesn’t mean they’re bought in at all.

 This is where social media gets dicey.

Awash in technology, anyone can hide behind the text, the e-mail, the Facebook post or the tweet, projecting any image they want and creating an illusion of their choosing. They can be whoever they want to be. And without the ability to receive nonverbal cues, their audiences are none the wiser.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/susantardanico/2012/04/30/is-social-media-sabotaging-real-communication/#5cc657122b62 (emphasis added)

My dearest and most precious Shosh and Jaialai:

There is an African proverb which states, “If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.”

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-QO3iX3ml1Ew/U6uW7Tv0UII/AAAAAAAAAhQ/FYf9xvGz1S0/w530-h398-n/go-fast-go-far.png

As I got older, I gained greater appreciation for this adage.  In my youth, I wanted to do it all and trusted few to put in the effort and care that I did on each task, each project.  (My reputation as a skilled problem-solver was built in no small measure by this approach, but my days were long because of it also.)  I cultivated friendships with select few who were among the best of my colleagues, but failed to create a broader network of friends and colleagues.

I failed to appreciate the extent to which the mass of those left out can turn the tide against you.  Ankle-biters may not be able to inflict great harm as individuals, but as a group, they can effectively poison the well.  Thus, if I were to redo my professional life, I would spend a little less time pursuing achievements (e.g., resolve problems that others had failed to resolve in the course of years, achieve recognition for my employer as few had done previously, etc.) and spend a little more time building my network.

Now, to be clear, I’m not advocating the total pursuit of building network over producing measurable results.  Those who climb the corporate ladder base on relationships alone build their career atop weak sandstone.  The fall of their mentors precipitates their own.  On the other hand, measurable success as a problem solver travels with you and can never be taken from you.  The world always needs problem solvers.  But, the importance of a strong team of support cannot be overstated.

Unfortunately, in this day and age, you face greater challenge than I did at your age.  As stated above, social media connects us but interferes with our ability to effectively communicate with one another. Face to face encounters give us the ability to read facial clues and hear the changes in someone’s tone of voice, which signal their passion or deception.  Limiting our communication to the one-dimensional medium of texts alone denies us the ability to assess the veracity of the speaker.

Yet, you’ve seen it, as we all have, tables full of friends or family members sit at a table at a restaurant or coffee shop but there is no communication among them because each is engrossed in his/her phone or tablet.  Why bother to go out as a family or group of friends?  Each might as well go back to his/her cave and connect with fake “friends” on Facebook.

How Many Of The Internet’s Users Are Fake - #infographicSee, also,

83 million Facebook accounts are fakes and dupes

https://www.cnn.com/2012/08/02/tech/social-media/facebook-fake-accounts/index.html

 

Criminals using fake social media profiles to target victims

New study finds burglars use social networks to gather information on targets.

Criminals are creating networks of fake online profiles on social networks in order to target individuals and their homes, a new study has warned.

Insurance firm Legal & General conducted a survey of British social media users and found that 91% had connected online with someone they had never met, and over half (51%) had accepted friend requests from strangers.

Nearly two thirds (63%) of those who connected with people they didn’t know did so because of a mutual friend in common, while a third (34%) accepted strangers because they were members of the same group, and over one in ten (11%) felt it would be “rude” not to accept the request.

Burglars are creating networks of fake profiles to target potential victims, as such connections allow them to uncover a variety of personal information about users and their whereabouts, making their homes an easier target.

The survey found that 56% of social media users had discussed an event, evening or holiday plans ‘wall to wall’ on Facebook, potentially providing opportunities for them to be targeted by criminals.

Almost a third (29%) also only update their status or tweet when they want to brag to their friends about an activity, rising to 43% among 18- to 24-year-olds.

Michael Fraser, a reformed burglar and the star of the BBC’s Beat the Burglar, said that digital-savvy criminals are increasingly using social networks as a “goldmine” of information on potential victims.

“While people are becoming savvier about privacy settings on social networks, they can also develop a false sense of security with their online connections, wrongly believing they can trust all those so-called ‘friends’,” he said.

http://www.digitalspy.com/media/news/a368932/criminals-using-fake-social-media-profiles-to-target-victims/ (emphasis added)

As I have always said, the internet and social media is but a tool.  Use it, but don’t let it use and control you.  Don’t allow liars and thieves to worm their way into your lives by creating fake profiles and “befriending” you.

https://i.vimeocdn.com/video/185063530_1280x720.jpg

https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/c/cd/Deal-With-an-Online-Predator-Step-11.jpg/aid433211-v4-728px-Deal-With-an-Online-Predator-Step-11.jpg

Limit your screen time.  Go outside and get fresh air.  Hang out with real people and real friends.  Beware of stranger danger — especially the new variety of fiends on the internet who pretend to be your friends.

All my love, always,

Dad

P.S., I am aware of the irony of telling you this over social media.  However, at present, it is the only form of communication available to us.  And, for that, I am grateful to it as a tool.

5 years, 3 months, and 6 days. Be kind to your audience.

https://i0.wp.com/static.openlawlab.com/uploads/2016/03/Legal-Design-Idea-Sketches_30-1-.jpg

https://i1.wp.com/suitcaseentrepreneur.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/228-Quote.jpg

https://i2.wp.com/quotescloud.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/The-size-of-the-audience-doesnt-matter.jpg

 

Pity the readers.

https://kmh-lanl.hansonhub.com/pc-24-66-vonnegut.pdf (emphasis added)

http://kmh-lanl.hansonhub.com/pc-24-66-vonnegut.pdf

My dearest and most precious Shosh and Jaialai:

Kurt Vonnegut said it best and most succinctly:  “Pity the readers.”  Be kind to your audience.  They occupy not your life and live not in your head; thus, they have the difficult task of trying to follow your thoughts — be it in written or oral form.  Help them.

First, know your audience.  Who are they?  What do they want out of the interaction with you?  What are their interests?  What are their levels of education?  What is their frames of reference?  For example, if you were talking to high school graduates who are sports fanatics, and you peppered your conversation with quotes from a philosophy book, do you think your audience would be hooked by your presentation or bored?  Know your audience.  Speak their “language” — be it words, anecdotes, imagery, etc.

Second, as the speaker or writer, IT IS YOUR JOB to communicate your thoughts clearly to your audience.  Don’t shirk your duties.  Worse, don’t blame your audience for your failure to do your job.

For example, your job as the writer is to help your readers understand what you are saying by clearly giving them roadmaps and textual clues for them to follow along.  Thus, use signals – such as commas, and words like “but” – to tell readers what to expect and to better help them understand your points.

Shosh, when you were a toddler, you visited me at the office and scared my staff.  Ms. T asked why you liked construction equipment or something that simple.  You responded with, “Well, I like them for three reasons.  First, …”  Your detailed analysis as well as clear and organized thinking freaked them out.  Mr. D said he’d rather have kids who are not as smart since they would be easier to teach.

In life, you will find that if you care about your audience, they will care about you in return.  Do the hard lifting and complicated analyses for your audience and explain complex ideas in simple terms for your audience, and they will knock down your door to get to you and your services.  I promise.

Be well, my sons.  Live well.  Be happy.

All my love, always,

Dad

 

 

5 years, and 3 months. You can do well by doing good. Strive to do good well.

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/fa/d2/fe/fad2fe0a900c2a8167c7a04947b9f150.jpg

https://positivethesaurus.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/john-adams-positive-presidential-quotes-to-be-good.jpg

https://i0.wp.com/blog.wcwpartners.com/wp-content/uploads/LeaderQuote.jpg

My dearest and most precious sons, Shosh and Jailai:

You often hear it said that the good guy always loses.  I beg to differ.

Although the bad guy — who is willing to lie, cheat, and steal — may get ahead in the short run by skirting the law and morality, he/she loses in the long run.  First, note recent reports of the downfall of the mighty, e.g., Samsung’s chief and heir face prison time for their corrupt practices, a former president of South Korea has been sentenced to 24 years in prison for corruption, and a former president of Brazil has been sentence to 12 years in prison for corruption.  Crime catches up with you partly because you make enemies.  That leads to my second point: bad guys live in constant fear of being exposed or on the receiving end of their misdeeds.  A thief, for example, fears being discovered and thinks everyone is out to get him.  Thus, he must constantly be on guard and trusts few .  Is that a good way to live?  Are those the makings of a good life?  No.

You can do well by doing good in the world, by helping to make the world a better place.  For example, at a time when computing was limited to the few, Steve Job envisioned a world where there is a computer in every home and that technology is accessible to all.  As a result of his efforts, most homes today have one or more computers.  At the time of his death, Mr. Job’s net worth was $10.2 billion.  https://www.investopedia.com/university/steve-jobs-biography/steve-jobs-net-worth.asp.  He did well by doing good, wouldn’t you say?  (Now, reports are that Steve Job is not the easiest man to get along with and has his own issues.  But, who among us is perfect?  Let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water.  Acknowledge his contributions to the world, but hold him accountable for his less stellar aspects as appropriate.)

https://i2.wp.com/www.quotehd.com/imagequotes/authors1/ralph-waldo-emerson-poet-doing-well-is-the-result-of-doing-good-thats-what-capitalism.jpg

https://i1.wp.com/m.likesuccess.com/quotes/18/872246.png

https://i0.wp.com/img.picturequotes.com/2/21/20532/if-a-jobs-worth-doing-its-worth-doing-well-quote-1.jpg

The undergirding of today’s lesson is the same fundamental lessons I’ve always harped on:  be you but be the best you can be, and try to leave your corner of the world a little bit better than when you first found it.  I leave you with another wise word from one of my favorite people.

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d5/18/3b/d5183b71ded68d0fad10373cfc36bfea.jpg

Go forth, do good, and do well.  Live a purposeful life.  Happiness lies therein.

All my love, always,

Dad

5 years, 2 months, and 20 days. Be true to you and worry not about others.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.
— ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

My dearest Shosh and Jaialai:

I apologize for the long silence.  It has simply been a very difficult spell.

Other than you boys, what I miss most of our home is the small community in which we lived. For the most part, our neighbors were well-educated and well-mannered.  I have had the fortune of reaching a level of professional success which enabled us to live far from the ghettos and the accompanying filthy environment and vices. Being refugees now, we are no longer as fortunate.  (A friend, who was a judge on the appeal panel for refugee and immigration determination, advised us that what happened to us qualified us as refugees under international law.)

Today, I simply want to touch on two things. The first, I think, is the most important.  As per Abraham Lincoln and others, it is

[b]etter to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.

Many forget this lesson and speak of things about which they know little or nothing.  By doing so, they prove themselves fools and erase all doubts that may have been accorded them before they opened their mouths.

Be disciplined.  Avoid saying things that cannot be validated with documentary or testimonial evidence.  This strategy ensures you do not overspeak and protects your reputation.

Furthermore, be given to action rather than words.  It is better to do and show people what you can do than to tell them about how great you are … unless you are pitching to a potential client and telling him/her what you can do for his/her company.  Even then, the successes of your past projects speak louder than any words you may use in your pitch.

My second lessons to you, my sons, is to choose your battles wisely.  Let not anyone and everyone provoke you.  The world is full of ankle-biters who can never reach the heights for which you are destined; thus, they take to nipping at your ankles to annoy.  Ignore them.  Use your God-given talents to make positive changes in the world.  You will have to account for your talents when you meet your Maker.  Let the others account for the talents with which God entrusted them.  If they failed to live up to His expectations, that’s a problem between them and God, not you.

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Focus on doing your best and being your best.  Don’t worry about what “others” may think.  Why should you give them such power?

Regardless of whether others are showering you with praise or vitriol, would your believing in those praises or vitriols add minutes to your life? brain cells to your head? beauty to your face? dollars to your bank accounts?  No.  Either way, thank them for their input, put it aside, then refocus on doing your best and being your best.

Remember the wise words of Teacher Mary, Shosh: you have control only over yourself and not others.  Thus, don’t worry about others, don’t take ownership of the foolishness of others, don’t let others live your life, etc.

All my love, always, my sons,

Dad